My Infatuation With Death

Chapter 5 : My Infatuation

Perspective : Regina Clement

"It's Conrad, he was bleeding down the road .... ".

"We took him to saint Luis's healing church".

Upon hearing that my heart momentarily stopped beating.

I didn't notice who was in front of me, I pushed them aside, without a moment's break I grabbed Kelvin's shoulder and asked

"How is he ?".

He said "We are not sure, he has lost a lot of blood, .... I think he may not survive".

I left Kelvin and ran towards saint Luis's healing church.

With every step I took, my mind became consumed with darkened thoughts.

(What if he doesn't make it?)

(What will I do if he dies?).

Those were the absurd thoughts that plagued my thinking. With every step I took My imagination painted a devastating picture of a world without Conrad, it was horrible and my heart was shattered.

In my haste to see his face again, I had forgotten to take my coat. The air was cold, as were the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

I could feel the burden of snow pressing against my bare shoulders.

I couldn't let go of him this way, he was the only one who stood by my side, during moments I needed someone to comfort me. My mom was never allowed near me, well my dad, I didn't even knew who my dad was?

However, he filled that void, I couldn't imagine living without him, In a world filled with apathetic creatures, he was the exception - the only one who genuinely cared about me.

................................. past. ..........................................

I was born in the country of "Alkatash", a country known for it's beautiful monuments and the largest slave market.

Alkatash was a patriarchal society, there men controlled every thing. Since, ancient times they viewed women as nothing but a tool to give birth. Men had the right to choose their partners, but women were given no such rights.

Women who tried to make a name for themselves were considered as bad omen, they even went as far as to make a law for it.

A woman who tries to do men's work was heavily ostracized, I was unaware of that, when I was still a child. Back then, my aunt Rosetta used to take care of me.

I belonged to the prestigious Clement family.

I loved my aunt, she taught me all kinds of things that a child should know, she played with me and even taught me reading and writing, even though it wasn't permitted. I would go so far as to say that she held a greater importance in my life than my mother.

However, She was a slave, captured from a country east of Alkatash. When Alkatash campaigned east, several slaves were bought back, and she was one of them. She often told me that I resembled her daughter.

Life outside wasn't my concern, I enjoyed my childhood in peace, along with her there to protect me, Inside the royal castle's walls. I also had a big sister, but we hardly saw each other, even though we lived under the same roof.

My aunt often encouraged me to leave my country whenever, I grew up. At that moment my childish mind was unable to comprehend, why she kept saying that.

When I was eight years old, one day my aunt and I were enjoying tangerines while feeding the fish in the garden pond. Suddenly, two armed guards from the king's entourage arrived and took my aunt away. I desperately tried to intervene, but another woman restrained me. Tragically, I never saw my aunt again. Following her disappearance, I was introduced to a new caretaker who was quite strict. Shortly thereafter, I began my magical training and etiquette classes. They told me that I would eventually become the king's consort, emphasizing the importance of maintaining proper composure in the presence of royalty. The training classes was rigorous, leaving me exhausted every day, lying on my bed after hours of intense practice. I felt isolated, with no one to talk with, and gradually began to lose my independence, in this state of loneliness. I relinquished my thoughts, I followed each of their instructions, without any questions.

Soon after a month or so, I discovered that Aunt Rosetta had been executed by the king's decree on account of her infertility. The news reached me through fellow retainers, and it left me utterly devastated and depressed. Despite it being the time for my regular lessons, I couldn't bear to attend that day. Instead, I ran off towards the woods and sought solace under the shade of a tree where my aunt often took me for morning walks. It was there, where I cried my hearts out.

One strange day, while I was under that tree reminiscing about my aunt, a caterpillar tumbled down my side, It was when, I first saw him, he looked my age, his eyes were captivating, just like a kitten, filled with curiosity.

My initial guess was that, he was one of them, and he was there to capture me to take me for my daily lessons, but I was wrong. Day after day whenever I came to sit under that tree, he would try to talk to me. Back then I was afraid of strangers, so, whenever I saw him, I used to taunt him and flee. I even went as far as to throw rocks at him. But that guy was quite persistent. It wasn't long before I gave up and spoke to him.

The first thing he asked me was my name. He introduced himself as Conrad, but little did I know that he was actually the first prince of that wretched country. He was quite weird; instead of resorting to the typical response of 'that's how God made it' like everyone else, he would always try to logically explain the mechanisms behind anything I asked him about.

I still recall asking him,

"Hey, why does the moon gradually disappear and then begin to fill up again after a few days?"

It was a question that occupied my thoughts every night as I gazed at the moon. Whenever I asked my aunt, she would simply respond with, 'That's how God made it,' and her expression convinced me that she believed it to be true. However, I wanted to know his take on the matter.

His response was,

"The moon appears to change because it is continually circling around us, and when it is nearer to the sun, it appears more complete." Although I didn't fully understood what he said.

But nonetheless, I was impressed by it.

From that moment on, I eagerly completed my daily classes, eagerly waiting for our next encounter. In my otherwise hollow world, happiness was gradually finding its way back. Whenever we met, a warm and fuzzy feeling would arise in my chest.

One day, while I was visiting my mom, who was aware of my friendship with him, I gathered the courage to ask her,

"Mommy, why is it that whenever I'm with him, I feel a warm sensation in my chest that brings me happiness?"

My mom didn't seem too surprised by my question. She responded,

"My child, that feeling is called love... it seems like that boy holds a special place in your heart." Excitedly, I replied,

"Yes, mother! He not only plays with me but also teaches me so many things."

When my mother confirmed that I had indeed fallen in love, I couldn't contain my joy.

When my mother said I had fallen in love, I was the happiest in my life. I recalled my auntie's words

"Regina..... one day you must fall in love and make a family with someone...... far .... far away from here ".

Now, I was finally going to fullfill the promise that I made with auntie.

However, my happiness turned upside down, when I overheard the retainers talking one morning.

One of them spoke,

"Did you hear the news? The mistress's eldest daughter is going to wed the prince."

By "the mistress," they were referring to my mother, and they were discussing my older sister. Initially, their conversation didn't drew my attention.

But then, the other retainer added by saying,

"I've heard that Prince Conrad can be quite handfull... I wonder if she is well-matched for him or not..."

"I wish if I could get married with the prince".

(She said Conrad)

(But that's his name)

(Is he going to marry my sister)

(But, I love him)

(This shouldn't be happening)

(I am not going to let her take him from me)

The day prior to her introduction with the prince, I discreetly added poison to her meal.

she fell severely sick and passed away after a few days.

As my mother's second daughter, I got the chance of attending the meeting with the king and my beloved. On that day, we became engaged, and it was a moment of pure happiness for me. Although, he initially opposed his father's wishes. But, I had faith that eventually he would accept my love.

In the beginning, our days were hard, but we managed to overcome the difficulties and soon he welcomed me. We enjoyed reading exciting books about Adventurers. I started to imagine us going on those adventures together. So, when he was forced to leave the royal family, I came with him to fulfill our fantasies of adventuring together.

............................... Present. .......................................

And now after just one month how could god decide to take him away from me.

I would never let that happen.