Home / Urban / SWIPE RIGHT FOR DEATH / 4. The Accidental Assassin
4. The Accidental Assassin
Author: Ayaka
last update2026-09-03 23:48:32

The neon skyline of the city looked less like a bustling metropolis and more like a circuit board designed by a sadist. Arlo stared at his phone, his thumb hovering over the ‘Collaborative Hits’ screen. The faces of his mother and Benoit flickered in the crimson light, mocking him.

"We need to move, Arlo," Zafira said, not looking back as she navigated the car through the congested downtown grid. "The app is tracking our velocity. If we stop for too long, it’ll mark us as stationary targets. That’s when the 'environment' starts getting creative again."

"I’m moving, I’m moving," Arlo muttered, shoving his phone into his pocket. "Where to? Does the app give us a GPS pin for this Jovan guy?"

"It’s not a pin. It’s a transaction history," Zafira replied, tapping her steering wheel rhythmically. "The app processes payments for these hits. Someone had to wire money to Jovan Pell to make this happen. I tracked the IP routing to a sandwich shop on 5th. It’s a front, clearly."

"A sandwich shop? Why can’t it be a sinister villain lair? Like a volcano, or at least a high-end penthouse?" Arlo leaned back, exhaling a shaky breath. "Why is my life always a budget version of an action movie?"

"Because nobody expects a guy in a mid-level office job to be a hitman," Zafira countered, swerving into a loading zone. "Stop complaining and look for the guy with the sweating forehead and the heavy bag. That’s our man."

They hopped out of the car, the cool evening air doing little to settle Arlo’s racing heart. The sandwich shop, Sub-Standard, smelled of stale sourdough and desperation. Inside, a man sat at a corner booth, hunched over a lukewarm meatball sub, clutching a battered, duct-taped briefcase like it contained the cure for aging.

Arlo stepped forward, his voice a little too high. "Uh, Jovan? Jovan Pell?"

Jovan looked up, his eyes darting around the room. He looked like he hadn't slept since the invention of the toaster. "Who—who are you? Did the agency send you? I told them I wasn't doing another drop, but the money was too good, and my landlord is literally threatening to evict me for owning a succulent."

Arlo blinked. "Wait. You’re a hitman? You look like you’re about to have a panic attack."

Jovan let out a sharp, wet laugh. "Hitman? I work in data entry! Some guy on the internet offered me five grand just to bring this bag to a locker at the bus station. He said it was classified corporate documents."

Arlo looked at Zafira, then back at Jovan. "You’re not here to kill me? You’re just a glorified courier?"

"Kill you? Buddy, I have a gluten intolerance. The most lethal thing I’ve done today is eat this sub," Jovan whispered, pushing the briefcase across the table. "You’re the one the app is targeting, right? I saw your face on the screen before the link expired. Why are you guys following me?"

Zafira stepped in, her tone sharp. "Open the bag, Jovan."

Jovan looked panicked. "I can't! The instructions said if I open it before the timer hits zero, it triggers a 'defensive measure'."

"Jovan, buddy," Arlo said, his voice dropping to a sympathetic tone. "I think the 'defensive measure' is a bomb. We’re being set up by an algorithm."

Jovan turned ghostly pale. "A bomb? In my sub shop?"

Suddenly, the front door chimed. A woman in a dark trench coat walked in, her eyes scanning the room with the practiced gaze of a predator. Arlo recognized her instantly from the precinct news clips: Detective Nadia Vire.

"Crap," Zafira hissed, grabbing Arlo’s shoulder. "That’s Vire. She’s the lead on the 'accidental death' task force. If she finds us with a ticking bomb, we’re going to jail for a very long time."

"Hide the bag!" Arlo hissed at Jovan. "Do something with it!"

"I don't know what to do!" Jovan whimpered.

"Okay, look," Arlo said, grabbing a menu. "I’m going to make a scene. Zafira, you work on the lock. Jovan, try to look like a normal human being who isn't carrying a suitcase of doom."

Arlo stood up, kicked his chair back, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Hey! You! Why are you putting olives on my sandwich! I specifically asked for no olives!"

Detective Vire paused, her gaze snapping toward Arlo. "Sir, please remain calm."

"Calm? You call this calm? I’m having an allergic reaction!" Arlo grabbed his throat, stumbling toward the detective. "It’s the olive oil! I’m going to die!"

While Vire was busy trying to calm a 'dying' Arlo, Zafira slid into the booth opposite Jovan. Her fingers flew over the latch of the briefcase, her eyes fixed on a tiny, glowing wire sequence that seemed to pulse in sync with the app.

"It’s a pressure-sensitive trigger," Zafira whispered, her voice barely audible. "Jovan, hold your breath. If you let it out, your hands might shake."

"I’m holding it!" Jovan gasped, his face turning an alarming shade of purple.

"Arlo, keep her busy for another thirty seconds," Zafira muttered, her hands working with surgical precision.

"You don't understand, officer!" Arlo continued his theatrics, leaning against the counter. "I have a very specific set of requirements for my lunch. The app promised me a turkey sub with extra pickles, and this is just... this is a war crime!"

Vire narrowed her eyes. "Sir, show me your ID. You’re acting erratic."

"Erratic? I’m hungry! Is that a crime in this city?" Arlo reached for his pocket, intentionally fumbling his wallet so it slid across the floor, drawing Vire’s attention away from the booth.

Behind them, a soft click echoed.

"Got it," Zafira whispered, pulling a tangled mess of wires and a small, battery-operated transmitter out of the bag. She stuffed the components into her own pocket and stood up, smoothing her jacket.

"Jovan, leave the bag. Walk out the back. Don't look back, don't run, just act like you’re going to the bathroom," Zafira commanded.

Jovan nodded, trembling, and slid out of the booth. He walked toward the back with the stiff, awkward gait of a man who just survived a plane crash.

Arlo finally stopped 'choking.' He looked at Detective Vire with a sheepish grin. "Sorry. I guess I’m just hangry. My blood sugar is all over the place."

Vire stared at him, her eyes tracing his face. She frowned, a look of recognition crossing her features. "Wait. Arlo Kensington? The missing persons case from last week?"

Arlo’s heart stopped. "Missing? I’m not missing. I’m right here. I’m having a sandwich."

"I saw your file on the desk this morning," Vire said, her hand drifting toward her holster. "You were reported missing after your apartment was found empty and your place of work was vandalized."

"I was on a... sabbatical," Arlo lied, backing toward the door. "A really, really long, boring, interior-design-focused sabbatical."

"Stay where you are," Vire barked, taking a step forward.

"Zafira, run!" Arlo yelled, turning on his heel and sprinting through the front door.

He collided with the glass, bounced off, and scrambled into the street, Zafira right behind him. They didn't look back as they hit the sidewalk, the sounds of a frustrated detective shouting in the distance fading into the roar of city traffic.

"That was close," Arlo panted, leaning against a brick wall around the corner. "Too close. She recognized me."

"It’s getting worse," Zafira said, looking at her phone. The screen was bleeding a deep, almost black crimson. "The app knows we neutralized the bomb. It’s not just calling for hits anymore. It’s going to start flagging us as system errors."

"System errors? Does that mean it’s going to send a hit squad of IT nerds?" Arlo joked, though his voice sounded thin.

"It means it’s going to start rewriting reality around us," Zafira said, her face grim. "If they can't kill you with a bomb, they’ll delete you from the city’s records. We have to reach the server. Tonight."

Arlo looked down at his phone. The screen flickered. A new, ominous message scrolled across the top: ‘Arlo Kensington: Unauthorized access detected. Initiating permanent logout.’

"We’re running out of time, aren't we?" Arlo asked.

Zafira looked up at the towering, windowless monolith in the center of the downtown district. "The server isn't in a building, Arlo. It’s in the infrastructure of the city itself. And we’re going to have to break into the heart of the grid to pull the plug."

Arlo took a deep breath, his knuckles white as he gripped his phone. "Well. At least the weather’s nice for an apocalypse."

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