Terms And conditions Apply : Invoicing The Apocalypse

Liquidation at the Fed Gate

...but with a face identical to the faded photo I had kept in my wallet for years; the man was an exact copy of my father, except his eyes were now glowing red like burning coals. He stood tall in front of the gate of the Department of Soul Confiscation, holding a black metal clipboard that seemed to absorb the surrounding light.

"Dad? Is it really you?" my voice trembled, nearly swallowed by the thunderous roar of giant chains in the hellish sky.

The figure did not smile. He just stared at me blankly, as if I were just another row of numbers in his audit report. "Freza, my son. You have come here without an official travel permit. That is a level-one procedural violation."

"Holy crap, Mas Freza! Is that really your old man?! Why is his style stiffer than a dry chamois cloth?!" Qoriski whispered while hiding behind Citra's back. "And what's up with those red eyes? Lack of sleep, or did he just finish crying after seeing his bank balance?"

"Shut up, Qoriski! This is no time for jokes!" I snapped, even though my heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. "Dad, listen to Freza. We didn't come here to cause trouble. We came to take back the emotions of Jakarta's citizens that were unilaterally confiscated by the Consortium!"

"The confiscation was carried out based on a default on existence premiums, Freza," the man who looked like my father replied in a cold, mechanical voice. "In Sector 9, no emotion is free. All feelings are collateral for your debt of existence."

"Collateral my foot! That’s called biological asset theft!" Citra stepped forward, her electric sword hissing softly. "Move aside, old man! Or I’ll file a report for violence against security officers here!"

"Citra, don't be reckless yet!" I held her arm. "Dad, look at Freza's glasses. Freza has seen the system's balance sheet. The Consortium is cheating! They intentionally created fake bills so they could seize those emotions to use as fuel for their servers! That’s malpractice!"

"Laws do not apply in non-legal zones, Freza. You read it yourself on the system screen earlier, didn't you?" The man raised his clipboard. "Here, there is only one rule: Whoever holds control over the warehouse is the rightful owner."

"Whoa, that's insane! So if I can seize the warehouse, I become the rightful owner of the emotions of everyone in Jakarta?!" Qoriski interrupted, his eyes sparkling. "Mas, let's just rob it! It'd be a pretty good investment for the future!"

"Qor, are you thinking with your brain or a hammer?!" I massaged my temples. "Dad, if the law doesn't apply, then the Consortium's ownership status over this place is also invalid, right? Technically, this is 'No Man's Land.' And based on the most basic laws of the universe, vacant land can be claimed by whoever performs the first physical audit!"

Freza pulled out his dimly glowing gold stamp. He stared at the giant iron gate in front of him with a defiant gaze. The atmosphere around them grew hotter, sulfur dust began to obscure their vision, but Freza remained unmoved.

"Auditors have no power on scorched earth, Freza," the figure spoke again. "Go back. Let your soul rest in the backup server."

"I'm not going back until I get what I'm looking for!" I shouted. "Qoriski! Smash the gate! Citra, protect Qoriski from the shadow guards!"

"Copy that, Boss! This is what I've been waiting for! HELL SMASH!" Qoriski leaped high, his gavel expanding tenfold, emitting a blinding golden light amidst the darkness of Sector 9.

The giant hammer struck the iron gate with full force. The sound of clashing metal created a shockwave that collapsed several chains in the sky. However, the gate was not destroyed; instead, thousands of red binary codes appeared, blocking Qoriski's hammer strike.

"Damn! This door is rock hard! Like an ex's heart who hasn't moved on!" Qoriski complained as he was thrown backward.

"That's because the gate is locked with 'Suffering Encryption'!" Citra shouted while parrying attacks from shadow spears that suddenly emerged from the ground. "Freza! You have to find the key in the system! I can't hold off these shadows forever!"

"I'm trying! Dad, release the lock! Don't force Freza to audit you by force!" I yelled at the man.

"Audit me if you are able, Freza. But remember, every number you delete from my balance sheet will subtract one year from your own life," he replied flatly.

"Holy crap, Mas! Don't do it! You're gonna die young for the sake of everyone in Jakarta?!" Qoriski panicked, swinging his hammer again to ward off the approaching shadows. "Better we negotiate again! Old man, what do you want? Coffee? Pizza? Or do you want a massage?"

"Silence, dwarf," the man hissed.

"Hey, don't call me a dwarf! I'm the 'Head of the Striking Division' at the Doomsday Collection Office!" Qoriski refused to back down. "Mas Freza, hurry up! There are more and more shadows, it's like a line for free groceries!"

Freza closed his eyes, activating mode 'Forensic Audit: Root Depth'. He felt all the data in Sector 9 flowing into his brain. Intense heat began to burn his nerves, but he kept searching for a single point of weakness in the gate's encryption.

"Found it... You put the key under the 'Past Regrets' variable, didn't you, Dad?" I muttered in a hoarse voice. "You intentionally made a key that can only be opened by someone who has the same regrets as you?"

"Hati-hati, Freza. Opening that variable means facing the truth about our family," the man's voice softened slightly, yet still felt distant.

"I don't give a damn about the truth! I just want my assets back!" I screamed while pressing a virtual button in front of me. "Forensic Audit: Delete Regret Variable! Input New Value: ABSOLUTE COMPENSATION!"

Blue light exploded from Freza's body, piercing the red encryption on the iron gate. A piercing screech of metal was heard as the mystical locks were released one by one. The gate of the Department of Soul Confiscation slowly opened, emitting a cold air that contrasted with the heat of hell.

"Success! Mas Freza is a real pro when it comes to hacking systems!" Qoriski cheered with joy.

"Don't celebrate yet, Qor. Look inside!" Citra pointed toward the corridor behind the gate.

Inside the giant warehouse, millions of colorful orbs of light floated in towering glass shelves. Each orb contained human emotions; bright yellow for happiness, blue for sadness, and glowing red for anger. However, in the center of the room stood a giant grinding machine that was crushing the light orbs into black Mana powder.

"Bastards! They're actually grinding people's feelings!" I ran inside, no longer caring about the man who looked like my father. "Hey! Stop! Those are my seized assets!"

"Welcome to our processing plant, Mr. Auditor," a smooth voice was heard from atop the grinding machine.

The neon-haired teenager from earlier in Jakarta, X-Ray, sat casually on top of the machine while holding a digital soda bottle. "Are you a little late, big brother? We've already gotten ten liters of pure Mana from the emotions of the rich people in Sudirman. Turns out their happiness tastes a bit bitter, doesn't it?"

"You little brat! Do you really want me to flatten you?!" Qoriski raised his hammer, his emotions exploding. "Do you have any idea how long it takes for people to feel happy?! And you just grind it up like that!"

"Well, what can I say, big brother? The Consortium needs energy to move the headquarters to another galaxy. We need high-quality fuel," X-Ray replied with a guiltless grin. "Oh, and while you're here, how about you become fuel too? An auditor must have very 'dense' emotions, right?"

"Just try it if you dare, kid," Citra lunged forward, her sword aimed straight at X-Ray's neck.

However, before Citra's sword could touch X-Ray, a transparent glass wall suddenly appeared, reflecting Citra's attack until she was thrown toward the emotion shelves.

"Ow! Citra!" I screamed in panic.

"I'm okay! But this glass... it's 'Anti-Audit Glass'! My sword won't work!" Citra tried to get up, but her body was surrounded by small guardian robots that emerged from the ceiling.

"X-Ray, listen to me!" I tried to stay calm even though my hands were shaking. "You're still an intern, right? Do you know that processing disputed assets before a final verdict is a serious breach of the code of ethics? You could be blacklisted from every galactic corporation forever!"

"Ah, Big Brother Freza is always trying to scare me," X-Ray jumped down from the machine. "I've already received special permission from the Commissioner. He said as long as I can produce Mana, those rules are just suggestions."

"The Commissioner has already shattered into coins, you idiot! Didn't you get the memo?!" shouted Qoriski.

X-Ray paused for a moment, his face turning confused. "Shattered into coins? Why didn't I know? Wait, let me check the intern W******p group first..."