The Accidental Rewind: My Second Life as a Comedy of Errors

Chapter 2: Meme-less in 2014

Jovan watched Camille’s denim jacket disappear around the corner of the hallway, the scent of vanilla lingering in the air like a taunt from the universe. His heart was still hammering a rhythm that felt far too fast for an eighteen-year-old’s chest, or maybe it was just the caffeine of a decade’s worth of regrets hitting him all at once.

"Earth to Jovan? You still vibrating, or did you finally glitch out?"

Jovan turned to see Leo and a lanky kid with thick glasses named Toby leaning against the classroom doorframe. They were staring at him with a mixture of pity and genuine concern. Toby was adjusting his glasses, looking like he’d just witnessed a public execution.

"I’m not vibrating, Leo," Jovan said, his voice steadier than he felt. "I’m manifesting. There’s a difference."

"Manifesting?" Toby snorted, hiking his backpack higher. "Is that what we’re calling a mental breakdown these days? Because you just told Henderson his class is a 'squiggly line' convention and then screamed about magic gold to a room full of people who just want to pass their midterms."

"It’s not magic gold, Toby. It’s the blockchain," Jovan said, then stopped himself. "Actually, never mind. You guys aren't ready for that conversation. Your brains are still in the 4G era."

"The 4G era? We just got 4G, man!" Leo laughed, punching Jovan’s shoulder. "What are you on? Did you accidentally smoke your toaster project? Because you’re acting like you’ve got main character syndrome."

Jovan’s eyes widened. "Main character syndrome? Wait, do you guys use that term? Is that a thing in 2014?"

"No," Leo blinked, looking confused. "I just meant you're acting like the world revolves around your weird outbursts. Why? Is that a 'future' thing too?"

"It’s a vibe," Jovan muttered, leaning back against the lockers. "Look, I know I looked like a psycho in there. But I’m telling you, I have the literal script for the next ten years. I know everything that’s going to happen. I’m the CEO of the future."

"Okay, CEO of Delusion," Toby said, crossing his arms. "If you’re from the future, tell us something that’s about to happen. Right now. Something specific."

Jovan smirked. This was his moment. He remembered this day. October 14th. In the original timeline, this was the day the vending machine in the cafeteria exploded because someone put a dry ice bomb in it. It was legendary.

"Okay," Jovan said, lowering his voice. "In exactly three minutes, the vending machine by the gym is going to blow its door off. Some freshman tried to be a chemist. It’s going to be chaos. Pure cinema."

Leo and Toby exchanged a look.

"A vending machine explosion?" Leo asked. "That’s oddly specific."

"Just watch," Jovan said, checking his iPhone 5. "Two minutes and fifty seconds. We should probably move away from the glass windows. You know, safety first. Very mindful, very demure."

"Very what?" Toby asked, his brow furrowing. "Demure? Jovan, you haven't used the word 'demure' since we had to read Jane Eyre in tenth grade. And what do you mean 'mindful'? Are you joining a yoga cult?"

"It’s a meme, Toby! It’s—" Jovan stopped, rubbing his temples. "Ugh, forget it. You guys are so behind the curve. Just wait for the explosion. It’s going to be the 'hawk tuah' of 2014."

"The what?" Leo asked, looking genuinely worried now. "Is that a German word? Are you having a stroke? Do we need to call the nurse?"

"No stroke! Just... just watch the gym hallway!"

They stood there in silence for three minutes. A group of cheerleaders walked by, whispering and pointing at Jovan. A teacher poked his head out of a room to hiss at them to keep it down. The clock on the wall ticked.

Three minutes passed. Then four.

The hallway remained deathly quiet.

"So..." Toby said, checking his own watch. "Is the vending machine on a delay? Or is it a 'digital' explosion?"

"Wait, it’s coming," Jovan insisted, his face heating up. "Maybe my internal clock is off. Time travel does that to a guy."

"Jovan, the only thing exploding right now is your reputation," Leo said, patting him on the back. "Come on, let’s go to the cafeteria before you start predicting the end of the world."

"No, I’m serious! I remember this!" Jovan scrambled after them. "Wait, check the school colors. Leo, what color is the Golden Eagle?"

"It’s... gold? And burgundy? Like it’s been since the seventies?" Leo replied.

"But it was a Blue Hawk! I swear it was a Blue Hawk in my—" Jovan stopped. He looked at a banner hanging from the ceiling. Go Eagles! Fight for the Gold!

"Oh no," Jovan whispered. "The Mandela Effect. It’s already happening. The toaster didn't just send me back; it shifted the frequency. I’m in a variant timeline."

"A variant what?" Toby asked, stopping in his tracks. "Bro, stop. Seriously. You’re sounding like a low-budget sci-fi movie. If you want to be cool, just be cool. You don’t need to pretend you’re a time traveler who lost his Blue Hawk."

"I’m not pretending! Look, I’ll prove it another way," Jovan said, desperate to regain his footing. "I’ll do something so revolutionary, so 'out there,' that it’ll trend... even if trending isn't a thing yet. I’ll show you the dance of the future."

"The dance of the future?" Leo grinned. "What, like the robot? The dougie?"

"The dougie is ancient history," Jovan said, stepping into the center of the hallway. "This is called 'The Floss.' It’s going to take the world by storm in a few years. It’s the peak of human coordination."

Jovan stood with his feet apart, stiffening his arms. He began to swing them back and forth around his hips, his body swaying in a rhythmic, albeit slightly jerky, motion. To a person from 2024, it was a cringe-inducing relic of Fortnite. To a group of teenagers in 2014, it looked like a catastrophic muscular malfunction.

"What are you doing?" Toby whispered, horrified. "Jovan, stop. People are looking."

"I’m flossing, Toby! Look at the rhythm! It’s iconic!" Jovan accelerated, his arms swinging wildly. "I’m a pioneer! I’m the Backpack Kid before the Backpack Kid was even a glint in the internet’s eye!"

"You look like you're trying to shake a bug out of your pants," Leo said, backing away. "Seriously, man, hide. The seniors are coming."

"Let them see!" Jovan shouted, feeling the adrenaline. "I am the future! I am the—"

"Jovan?"

The voice was soft, melodic, and instantly turned Jovan’s knees to jelly. He froze mid-swing, his left arm behind his back and his right arm thrust forward, looking like a broken windmill.

Camille was standing five feet away, holding her stack of papers. Her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly agape. She looked at his flailing arms, then at his sweating forehead, then back at his arms.

"Are you..." she hesitated, her voice laced with genuine concern. "Are you having some kind of physical crisis? Do you need me to get the AED from the gym?"

Jovan’s arms dropped to his sides. His face went a shade of red that shouldn't have been biologically possible.

"I... no," Jovan squeaked. "I was just... stretching. It’s a new dynamic warm-up from... California."

"California?" Camille repeated, a small, amused smile playing on her lips. "They stretch by swinging their arms like they're trying to fly away?"

"It’s for the core," Jovan said, trying to regain some dignity. "Very high-level stuff. You wouldn't know it yet. It’s very 'skibidi'."

"Ski-what?" Camille asked, stepping closer.

"Nothing. Never mind. Ignore the 'skibidi'," Jovan said, wanting to crawl into a locker and die. "You’re back. You dropped off the papers?"

"I did," she said, her gaze lingering on him with a mixture of confusion and that old, familiar warmth that made his heart ache. "But Henderson told me you're officially suspended for the rest of the day for the 'Bitcoin' outburst. He thinks you're on something, Jovan."

"I’m only on the truth, Camille," Jovan said, though it sounded weak even to him.

"Well, the 'truth' looks a lot like a seizure," she teased, though her eyes were soft. "Come on. Since you're kicked out and I have a free period, let's walk outside. You can explain to me why you’re so obsessed with toasters and 'digital gold' and... whatever that arm-swinging thing was."

Jovan looked at Leo and Toby. Leo was giving him a thumbs-up, while Toby was just shaking his head in disbelief.

"I’d love to," Jovan said, turning back to Camille. "But fair warning, the explanation involves a lot of things that haven't happened yet. And possibly a very expensive toaster."

"I like toasters," Camille laughed, starting to walk toward the exit. "They make bread better. That’s a pretty good foundation for a conversation."

As they walked down the hall together, Jovan felt a strange sense of vertigo. He was failing his classes, his friends thought he was insane, and he’d just performed the most embarrassing dance in history in front of the girl of his dreams.

But as Camille’s hand brushed against his—just a tiny, accidental contact—he realized that the timeline might be fuzzy, and his predictions might be wrong, but the way she looked at him was exactly how he remembered.

He just had to make sure he didn't "floss" his way out of her life again.

"So," Camille said as they stepped out into the crisp October air. "Tell me about this 'Bitcoin.' Is it like a Chuck E. Cheese token?"

Jovan sighed. "It’s a long story, Camille. But let’s just say, if you have ten dollars, we’re about to become very, very popular in the future."

"I have five dollars and a coupon for a free taco," she offered.

"Perfect," Jovan grinned. "That’s basically a seed round. Let’s go."