The Five Seconds King

Chapter 005

NEAL 

The garage was dark. The only light came from the moon shining through the small square window near the top of the wall. Dust was hanging in the air like ghosts and the silence was pressing on me like I was under a heavy blanket. I didn't go to our bedroom, because I could not stand the sight of her. 

I stood there for a while, just breathing heavily and battling the urge to cause more destruction than I already have. I wanted to scream, get my hand on something and break it. But I didn't.

I just stood there, soaking in all the anger and pain and sadness alone. Like I had been all along and didn't even know it. 

That was the moment a soft knock sounded on the garage door, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Neal?" Elisa's voice came through, low and unsure. "Can I come in?"

I didn't answer.

But she pushed the door open slowly anyway and stepped in. She had taken off her heels. Her feet were bare, and hair was done now, a little messy. Her makeup had smudged, and she looked tired- hell, she looked broken. But she deserved every bit of it, and more.

Good.

She stood in the doorway for a second like she didn't know what to do next.

"I... I need to talk to you."

Still, I said nothing. She took a few steps closer, her voice shaky now. "Please, just let me explain. I know what I did was wrong. I know it hurts you so much but you don't understand everything."

I turned slowly to face her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Oh, I understand just fine."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "It didn't mean anything, Neal. Jack... it was a stupid mistake. I shouldn't have done it."

I laughed under my breath, bitter and cold. "A mistake? That man had his tongue down your throat in public. So allow me to clue you in on what it actually was. That wasn't a mistake. That was a decision, one I'm pretty sure you've made over and over again."

She flinched at my words.

"I didn't plan for this to happen," she whispered. "It just... things at work got stressful, and I felt like you weren't there for me emotionally. I felt alone. I felt unappreciated."

Gaslighting was something she was very good at. But I didn't let it get to me. Despite everything she'd done, she was still trying to find a way to blame it all on me. "So what? You go and spread your legs for the first guy who tells you you're special?"

Her eyes widened and then the hurt flashed across her face. I wished my words could hurt her more, because she didn't have the faintest idea how what she'd done made me feel.

"That's not fair." she sobbed.

"Fair?" I barked. "You wanna talk about fair? I set the table. Lit candles. Cooked your favourite meal. Got you a necklace with your goddamn birthstone on it. I stood outside the company building like a fucking idiot, waiting to surprise you. And what do I see? My wife walking into a hotel with another man. Tell me, what's fair in that?"

She looked down at her feet. "I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't mean for it to go that far."

I stepped forward, my voice low but firm.

"You've already gone too far, Elisa. And listen to me, I don't care what excuses you're about to make. I'm done listening."

"I love you, Neal," she whispered. "You have to believe me."

I shook my head slowly. "I believed a lot of things. I believed you were loyal. I believed you respected me. I believed we were a team. But you proved me wrong."

She moved closer, trying to reach out and touch my hand like that would magically erase everything that had happened from my mind. "Please don't leave like this. Let's talk. Let's fix it. I'll do anything. We can go to therapy. We can take a break. Just... don't walk away from us."

I stepped back before her hand could touch mine. "You broke us. You broke this whole damn thing, Elisa."

More tears were sliding down her face now. Fake tears. But I'd made up my mind so much none of it got to me. She could cry blood. We were done for good. "I didn't mean to-"

"But you did it anyway," I cut her off. "That's the difference. You knew what you were doing and you chose him. You had every chance to say no, you had every chance to resist. But you did not."

She covered her face and sobbed softly. I did not feel sorry for her. 

"I can't trust you again," I said quietly. "Not after what I saw tonight. That look in your eyes when you were with him? That wasn't confusion. That wasn't a mistake. That was affection. Real, deep affection. The kind I used to get from you."

She shook her head quickly. "No. No, that's not true. I swear, it's not. It was just- he was... he made me feel seen again."

I couldn't count how many times she'd said that tonight. 

"The maybe you should go be seen by him, just stop singing it in my ear."s

The silence that followed hurt more than anything else. It was thick. Heavy. I walked past her into the living room. The mess from earlier was still there, scattered across the floor. Shattered glass. Wilted roses and a candle barely flickering. I picked up the divorce papers from the table and held them out again.

"Sign these, Elisa. You're wasting my time."

Tears still pouring down her cheeks, she shook her head, hands shaking. "No..."

"Yes," I said. "Sign them. Then call me after. I'll come get my things."

"What?" Her lips trembled, realising I didn't want to stay here and keep up with her bullshit. "Where are you going? Please don't do this."

I stared hard into her eyes. "Sign them. Elisa. But either way, I'm leaving and when I walk out of that door, I'm not coming back."

She stepped forward immediately. The panic in her eyes nearly made me feel sorry for her. "No! Neal, wait! Just give me time! Please- please don't do this."

I said nothing to her. I turned and walked to the front door, instead. But she followed, grabbing my arm and pleading. 

"Don't walk away from me!" she cried.

I pulled my arm free without even looking at her. 

"Neal-"

"Goodbye, Elisa."