author-banner
Beth writes
Beth writes
Author

Novels by Beth writes

The laughing God's Gambit

The laughing God's Gambit

Ferris is a thief with a bad magic trick and a dragon on his back. Lyria is a stone-cold knight. They mess up a steal and now they're cursed: they feel what the other feels. So they're stuck. To break it, they have to steal from the most guarded vault in the Spirelands. Their crew? A sad immortal, a goblin who loves bombs, a lost librarian, and a space squirrel. The job is nuts. They have no plan. To get close, they have to pretend to be lovers. Ferris jokes when he's scared. Lyria scowls to hide her feelings. Then the fake stuff starts to feel real, and the vault's keeper isn't a monster. It's a god who thinks their love story is hilarious. He's rigged the game for a funny, sad finale. The world depends on the worst thieves, knights, and fake couple ever. They have to out-laugh a god, out-love a lie, and try not to kill each other.
Read
Chapter: CHAPTER 30: Burn it.
The Fetch's baby-face looked like he was mocking them, his grin said he was going to be a jerk. The ledger felt hot in Ferris's hands.A deal, the Fetch said. I keep the ledger. It's safe with me, a secret, and yummy. I'll be the best secret-keeper ever. You can leave my Bazaar without getting hurt, and take your passed-out friend. I'll even wipe her memory for her, so she wants to be a pastry chef when she wakes up.Kaelan was breaking down the hidden door into the servant's stairs behind them. They had a few seconds.What if we don't agree? Lyria asked, her voice steady, ready to fight between the Fetch and the stairs.Then I'll open a door to Kaelan, the Fetch said, sounding happy. And sell tickets. It'll be a sad, but short show.They didn't have a choice. If they gave up the ledger, Wren's work would be in the hands of a monster who loves chaos. If they didn't, they'd die in a back alley.Ferris was thinking fast. The Fetch cared about stories and deals. He wanted the ledger's po
Last Updated: 2026-01-21
Chapter: Chapter 29: Did you trade me ??
The Fetch smiled. My favorite, the ironic kind. He showed a man beside him. Tall, in leather, with an empty face. He held a crossbow.Kaelan, Ferris said. The hunter they left in a ditch and garden.He's angry, the Fetch said. And Karina pays well. She's using the book as money. A mess of betrayal and revenge! I love market day.They had to face Karina's smarts and Kaelan's hate. And they were in a market made of secrets.Thanks, Lyria said, standing.Sure, the Fetch said, turning into birds then a cat. Try not to break things, unless it's funny.They moved into the Bazaar, heads down. The Inn of Echoing Intent looked like a heart, with door valves.We can't just walk in, Ferris whispered. Kaelan will be watching.Lyria looked at the dark place. We need a distraction. Something to draw out Kaelan or everyone's eyes.Ferris saw a stall. It was run by a gnome and sold Emotional Atmospheres, small orbs that made clouds of feelings. One was Pure Joy.He had a plan. He looked at the horn a
Last Updated: 2026-01-21
Chapter: Chapter 27: Touching the God's stuff.
They scrambled out of the cave and started running down the mountain. The dust was wearing off, and their own breaths sounded loud. They ran and slid, waiting for dragonfire or a giant claw to grab them.They made it to where The Unfortunate Accident was hidden, its engines humming like it was nervous.Did you get it? Did you break it? Boom hissed as they jumped in.No, Ferris said, holding up the scale. We got something better.Jinx didn't ask. He pushed the engines, and the ship shot into the air, away from the mountain.As they flew, Ferris looked back. The dragon was back on its peak, watching them. It blinked once, slowly.Then it looked away, done with them.They had done it. They had faced the dragon and walked away. With a new deal. A new ending.Now they just had to sell it to a god.Alder was waiting in the Skyhaven gardens, sitting on a bench, feeding pigeons. He looked like a writer who'd just been told his play was canceled.The crew stayed back by a fountain. Ferris and
Last Updated: 2026-01-21
Chapter: CHAPTER 26: Thieves.
They stopped. The dragon's wings were right above them.Ferris pointed to his eyes, then into the hole. I'll look.Lyria shook her head, pointing to herself. I"ll look.They looked.The sight was amazing.The hoard was a treasure cathedral. Mountains of coins, rivers of gems, weapons. It was chaos. And in the middle, sat an egg.It was bigger than a person, its shell red and gold. It glowed.Between them and the egg was the hoard. They couldn't see it, but they felt it. The Grave-Silence dust was their only guard.Ferris held up one finger. One minute. He showed sprinkling dust, then pointed to the egg. They would use the dust on the egg.Lyria nodded.They went into the dragon's treasury.It was like a dream. The silence was strong, broken by wings and the hoard. They stepped through coins, dust quieted their steps.They were going when Ferris's foot hit a cup. It didn't fall.But the dust touched the gold.Where the Grave-Silence touched the hoard, a little spark happened.On the p
Last Updated: 2026-01-21
Chapter: CHAPTER 25: The treasure.
Silas was there too, leaning against the railing, looking like he was about to be executed. I told you being around you would make my life shorter, he said. I didn't think you'd see it as a challenge.You're our guide to not dying, Ferris said. You've been everywhere. You know things.I know that dragonfire hurts. A lot. And for a long time. Silas sighed. But I also know that if I let you two go alone, it'll be such a mess that it'll give me a headache for a century. So, fine.Even Mavis was there, wrapped in shawls, holding a notebook. The chance to see dragons and how gods change things is worth the risk of being burned to a crisp. My notes will be amazing, even if I'm dead.They were a crew. A terrible, ridiculous, doomed crew.As Jinx yelled orders and the ship's engines started up, Ferris took out the dragon-skin book. In the fading light, he read the most important part to everyone:The hoard-mind is like a web. To get through it, you have to be nothing. A shadow of a thought. T
Last Updated: 2026-01-21
Chapter: CHAPTER 24: The engineer.
Because it makes a better story? Because the dragon did something to him once? Because he's a crazy monster with a weird sense of humor? Ferris laughed, but it sounded forced. Take your pick.They needed to get off the main streets. They turned into the first alley and saw a tight, smelly space between a bakery and a place that tanned animal hides.We can't do it, Lyria said, leaning against the brick wall. A dragon's hoard is the most guarded place in the world. Its senses are out of this world. Its anger is… like a force of nature.We have to. It's the only way out. Clean slate. Your honor. He looked her in the eye. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next Spymaster or the next bounty hunter.There's always going to be someone after us, Ferris. That's just how things are.Not if a god changes everything. He held up his wrist, where the tether was glowing a little. We're in his story. The only way out is to get to the ending he w
Last Updated: 2026-01-21
Scan code to read on App