Daggers of Love

Shame and harmless fling

Throughout the day at school, the embarrassment from the classroom incident lingered in my mind. Alex had been a silent observer, and his embarrassment was evident as well. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't help feeling responsible for the awkward situation.

I shouldn’t have tried to measure with them in the first place. They are way out of my league and I just couldn’t fit myself in their shoes. Living a fake life isn’t what I wanted for myself.

As I returned to our apartment, I decided to retreat to my room, jump on my bed, and reflect on the events of the day. The memory of being laughed at by my classmates weighed heavily on my mind. I replayed the scene repeatedly, my face reddening with humiliation.

I couldn't help but consider my father's advice, which had always encouraged me to stand my ground and never be ashamed of my background. It was as if he had foreseen such a situation, speaking from experience.

Now that my truth was out in the open, I couldn't help but wonder about the consequences. I knew that people would likely talk about it, and I had to prepare myself for the inevitable conversations and judgments.

Still lying on my bed, I pondered the situation. I couldn't deny my background, but I was torn between maintaining my authenticity and fitting into a world that felt alien. I couldn't bring myself to pretend to be someone I wasn't.

I heard the door open, signaling Alex's return. He entered the room, his expression still clouded with disappointment.

"Come on, man, what was that in school today? Why did you say all of that?" Alex asked, his frustration evident.

"I spoke the truth. I didn't think you wanted me to lie. What's the point of concealing the truth when they'll eventually find out?" I replied, defending my honesty.

"What makes you think anyone would find out? Nobody cares about that, no one gives a damn. Just go with the flow. You only get one shot at this, and you've just blown it," he scolded.

"I'm just not comfortable living a fake life. It won't help me. What if my benefactor is out there, and here I am pretending to be someone I'm not? I don't want to disguise myself for my own gain," I reasoned, my voice unwavering.

"You told me to be open with others to make friends, and that's what I was trying to do," I added, trying to explain my perspective. “I just taught it’s better I let it all out instead of claiming to be someone I’m not. Because whether you like it or not, truth always have a way of coming out.”

Alex sighed, seemingly relenting, "Not everyone will like you for who you are. Not everyone is as accepting as I am in this place. If you want to navigate this world, you need to meet people at their level."

“This has nothing to do with living a fake life but if you’re gonna be staying in this place, it’s necessary for you to be like us and that’s what I’m trying to do for you.” He said and I also see his point as well.

He continued, "Not only did you embarrass me out there today, you made me look foolish in front of everyone. I'm starting to question whether I made a mistake." With that, he turned and left, leaving me deep in thought about the choices I had made.

Writer’s Perspective

Bella, Angelica, Sophie, and Ella were having a conversation about love. Bella, excitedly shared her recent encounter with a guy from their class. she expressed her interest and attraction to him leading her friends to tease her.

“Wow, seems like you like this guy already” Angelica said as they walked into their apartment.

“That’s no secret. You can see how she keeps smiling all the way home.” Sophie added and Bella blushed.

“You can’t blame me for liking him. He’s so handsome and dress so cute. You guys are just jealous and that’s it.” Bella said pouting like a child and jumped on the couch.

“Jealous? Seriously? You’re out of your mind. I don’t know about Sophie and Ella but I’m not ready to jump into another relationship.” Angelica said rolling her eyes.

“Who’s asking you to jump into another relationship. Having a fling isn’t a bad idea. I’m sure the guys at school are willing.” Bella said winking at her.

“Is that what you’re doing? having a fling?” Sophie jumped in.

“Of course. I’m not ready to get committed with anyone, so, I made it a temporary thing where no one get hurt” Bella replied.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I want to experience love. I want a man to love me and I want a love that will consume me. I want that kind of love.” Angelica admitted her desire but her friends couldn’t help but chuckle at her romantic notions.

“You’re dreaming girl. You better wake up.” Sophie said amidst laughter then patted her on the shoulder. “That kind of things only happen in movie not in the real world.” She added.

“Seriously girl, you need to stop having that mentality if you ever want to end up with any man. No man is capable of love, not in this world. Open your eyes girl and try to have as much fun as you want.” Bella also said.

Angelica nodded disappointedly to what her friends said and she doesn’t want to believe what her friend just said, then she turned to Ella. She said “What about you? What have you got to say?”

“I don’t want to support what they’re saying because I also want what you want. I think we all do but they are right, I don’t think it’s possible” Ella said.

“I’ve fallen in love before, twice actually, and I’ve gotten my heart broken, twice. I’ve realized all they wanted from me was my father’s money and of course sex.” She narrated.

“You want to know the reason they gave for breaking up with me? The first one said he realized that I’m a dog person and he’s more of a cat person so it’s not going to work out.” She said which cause a laughter among them.

“That guy must be a bastard.  What kind of stupid excuse was that?” Sophie said as they laughed.

“The second guy told me our love was like bungee jumping. Exciting at first, but he needs something more stable in his life.” Ella continued causing another roar of laughter.

“I really hated this second guys because I really thought he was the one, and I did everything for him. He used me like some trash to be used and thrown away. Which is why I’m never going to love anyone again.”

“You’ve also fallen in love before, right? Do you see what happened?” She said which seems to stir an emotion from her.

“Oh no, that guy is a jerk. I should’ve seen that coming? That was my fault.” Angelica said.

“But it did happen, didn’t it? The idiot broke up with you with a letter. I mean who the hell even write a letter in this century? A breakup letters.” Ella said which cause them to laugh.

“I told you he’s a jerk.” Angelica commented as she smiles.

“I think love is overrated so don’t go searching for something that’s not true or you’ll be scammed.” Ella concluded.

“Listen girl, I’ll suggest find a nice guy and have fun together. There’s no harm in that. Just don’t let it be too serious with anyone. You’re in school and you deserve to have fun.” Sophie advice.

“I hear you” Angelica replied.