Hijacking the Three Kingdoms with My System

Chapter 5: The Chili Sauce Feast

Zhang Fei leapt out of hiding like a cannon blast.

"HOOOOAAAARGH!"

His roar was so loud that Jo Fan had to cover his ears. The element of surprise was overwhelming. The bandits who were busy destroying the tents were scared half to death; some even dropped their weapons in shock.

"Who—"

Before the bandit could ask, Zhang Fei’s Serpent Spear swept through the air.

*BAM!*

Three bandits were sent flying simultaneously, their ribs instantly crushed by the impact of the 30-kilogram iron spear shaft.

"Third Brother, you are too rough," Guan Yu stepped out calmly.

He didn't shout. He simply swung his Guandao horizontally. The green dragon blade gleamed under the moonlight.

*SLASH.*

Two bandit heads flew into the air, neatly separated from their necks. Blood sprayed like a fountain.

Jo Fan covered his mouth with his hand, fighting the urge to vomit. "Holy hell. Holy hell. Those are real people's heads." He turned his face away, but his eyes remained fixed on Liu Bei.

The leader, who usually looked gentle, now wielded a pair of twin swords (*Shuang Gu Jian*). He was not as savage as Zhang Fei or as strong as Guan Yu, but his movements were efficient. He parried the attacks of bandits trying to flee, then slashed at their legs to cripple them.

"Mercy! We were just looking for food!" cried one surrounded bandit.

"You look for food by murdering sleeping people?" Liu Bei asked coldly, then plunged his sword into the bandit's shoulder.

The battle lasted less than three minutes. It wasn't a war. It was an execution.

Twenty bandits. Nineteen corpses lay scattered in gruesome condition. One bandit, whose leg Liu Bei had slashed, was now crawling on the ground, crying for mercy.

Zhang Fei stepped on the chest of the surviving bandit, making him gasp for breath. "Shut up, trash! Or I'll turn you into fertilizer!"

Jo Fan emerged from behind the rock with trembling legs. He tried to look cool, but his face was as pale as a corpse. He avoided the puddles of blood and body parts on the ground.

"The prediction... was accurate, right?" Jo Fan's voice was hoarse.

Guan Yu cleaned his blade with a scrap of cloth from a bandit's corpse. He looked at Jo Fan, then bowed slightly—a very rare sign of respect from the arrogant God of War.

"Your eyes are sharp, Master Jo," Guan Yu said. "Without you, we would have been badly hurt tonight."

Liu Bei sheathed his swords, his breathing slightly ragged. He walked toward Jo Fan, ignoring the whimpering bandit under Zhang Fei's foot.

"Master Jo Fan," Liu Bei said seriously. His gaze was intense. "I have met many clever men. But none can scent danger like a hunting dog the way you do."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" Jo Fan tried to joke, but failed.

Liu Bei didn't laugh. He gripped Jo Fan's shoulder. His hold was strong. "This world is cruel. Good men die quickly. Evil men live long. But clever men... clever men determine who lives and who dies."

Liu Bei stepped back, then cupped his hands and bowed deeply.

"I, Liu Xuande, humbly beg you. Be the brain for us who only have brawn. Help me end this chaos. I cannot promise you gold now, but I promise you will not starve as long as I have a single bowl of rice."

Jo Fan was silent. The night wind blew, carrying the metallic smell of blood.

The System in his eyes flashed again.

[Main Quest Updated: Recruitment Successful.]

[Faction: Liu Bei (Shu Han Prototype).]

[Joining Reward: Unlock 'Inventory: Level 1' Feature & Item 'Chili Sauce Sachet (x10)'.]

Jo Fan smiled faintly. His fear slowly faded, replaced by a strange hunger—not for food, but for power. He knew history. He knew how difficult Liu Bei's path was. But with a cheat in his head, maybe he could change this tragic story into a dark comedy with a happy ending.

"Get up, Boss," Jo Fan said, using a modern term that sounded foreign. "I accept your offer. But there is one condition."

Liu Bei straightened up. "Name it. Anything."

"From now on, never doubt my instincts. And..." Jo Fan reached into his void pocket, pulling out a string of bright red sachets. "We need flavor to celebrate this alliance, while we roast that wild chicken the bandits caught... let's fire it up."

Zhang Fei, who was threatening the bandit, immediately turned when he saw the red color of the sachets. His eyes sparkled like a child's.

"That red thing... does it smell spicy?" Zhang Fei asked, his saliva almost dripping.

Jo Fan tore open one sachet, letting the pungent aroma of chili and garlic waft into the night air. "This is called 'Sambal.' Where I come from, people can't eat without it. Consider it... consecrated dragon's blood."

"DRAGON'S BLOOD!" Zhang Fei cheered, forgetting the bandit under his foot. "I LOVE THIS CRAZY ADVISOR!"

That night, amidst the bandit corpses that were beginning to attract flies, a new legend began. Not with a blood oath, but with three future heroes eating burnt roasted chicken dipped in factory-made Jakarta chili sauce sachets, while Jo Fan stared at the stars, counting his remaining mental calories.

"By the way," Jo Fan said between bites of chicken thigh, his mouth smeared with sauce. "Tomorrow there's an invitation for the Anti-Dong Zhuo Alliance meeting, right?"

Liu Bei choked. "How do you know? Yuan Shao's messenger won't pass this way until tomorrow morning. That's classified information."

Jo Fan swallowed the chicken meat, then stared into the campfire with a mysterious gaze—though he was actually just extremely sleepy.

"Because tomorrow is the day we will be humiliated, Boss," Jo Fan grinned, his teeth red from the chili, making him look like a little devil. "Prepare yourselves mentally. Those arrogant nobles will spit on us. But don't worry... I'll use their spit as lubricant to smooth your path to the throne."

Guan Yu stopped chewing. His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Anyone who dares spit on my Elder Brother will have their tongue cut out."

"Don't cut it yet," Jo Fan chuckled. "Let them talk. Because when they realize who we are... the look on their faces will be delicious. More delicious than this sambal."

"My goal? It’s simple, Master Liu." Jo Fan grinned, though his legs were trembling. "I'm hungry. You're hungry. The people are hungry. I have a way to make us all full... and maybe, while we're at it, put you on the Emperor's throne. How about that?"

Zhang Fei choked on his own saliva. Guan Yu gripped the hilt of his Guandao tightly, his eyes flashing with alertness. Liu Bei was silent, the evening wind ruffling the edge of his worn robe.

For a moment, only the sound of the wind could be heard. Joshua held his breath, waiting for the verdict: Would he be recruited, or deemed a madman who needed to be eliminated?

Liu Bei smiled. Not a polite smile, but an ambitious smile he rarely showed.

"You have a brilliant mind and strange spiritual power. I will choose to believe in you."