KILLER CROSS OVER

"IF I HAD to call something as the turning point of my life, I would be calling that day as it. From the day I was born.... there is not a single thing in my life that didn't change. Everything changed. The way I lived, the occupation I did, the people I loved, the decisions I took, the paths I chose, the identity I carried and even my name; Kenneth York. They changed. People questioned them and I myself questioned them.

I'll start from the day where everything started to change. Thinking back from now, it was exactly forty-two years ago and I was just a three-year-old kid. Unlike now, those days, the people of the Jailbirds City lived a non-hectic, relaxing and a care-free life; just managing through the days while helping and caring about each other and... happy; at least most of them.

But this City has a Story. A Story which holds Memories. Memories which hold Scars and Scars that say... We Survived.

Being agents, there were days and days which mom and dad didn't come home and all those days I stayed at the Bureau with their associates. But I never felt lonely in their absence because something deep inside me bounded me to them, no matter how far they were from me. I was so small back then, true. I couldn't even speak properly, but... my instincts always kept me updated about my mom and dad.

Though patience was something I lacked since childhood, I always had it with my parents no matter how long I had to wait for them. I always trusted them in no matter what they did and what they said and yes, I held them so dear in my heart. I always knew wherever they were, each and every second they were thinking about me and I knew they loved me immensely. Sometimes, when the whole Bureau was worried of them not coming back on time or losing connection due to barriers in communication, my instincts deep inside verified to me that they were safe and just as I felt.... they came back safe and sound.

Whenever mom and dad got a time, they immediately spent it with me and that day was no difference. I met them after about two weeks and my young little heart was over-joyed that I could feel their warmth again. There was this village farm which dad loved to go and so did my mom and me. Dad decided that it would be the best to pay a visit there because it would be the most peaceful place for them to catch up with me for the days they missed.

Before we got into the car,

"C'mon sweetheart. We’ve got something for you."

I remember my mom kneeling in front of me so that she could directly look into my eyes and I remember how I excited I was, about what they had to give to me.

My mom smiled at me and slowly opened her palm. On her palm was a necklace that said "We Love You". More than a necklace, it was in the shape of a lock.

I looked at my dad who was smiling like crazy and then he took out something over the collar of his shirt which was also a locket that looked exactly like what mom had on her palm. Then I realized she was wearing one of the same kind. I was so overwhelmed and was jumping on my toes until mom finally put it on me. She mildly tussled my straight brown hair and again gave me a big smile.

"See how excited my little boy is. You see this lock?"

she asked. I nodded up and down.

"And do you see the three words on it?"

she asked again to which I continued nodding my head which I didn't stop nodding, after starting to answer her previous question.

Dad chuckled and took me to his hands, I immediately put one of my arms proudly around his neck.

"What does it say?"

he asked me.

"We...Luv...You"

I said in my parrot voice.

"Mhmph..."

dad smiled

"The necklace means ‘We Love You’ and the lock symbolizes that our love is locked within you as long as you wear it."

mom described smiling.

"So… what… does… your… one… say?"

I asked.

"That your love is locked within us!"

said dad hugging me tight and kissing me on the forehead. He kept me on the back seat and tucked up my seat belts. That day was amazing.

Mom and dad were sweet as every day; paid attention to me, replied to each and every useless thing that a three-year-old would brag about. Then there were this series of street shops on our way which was always a halting place of dad and… trust me when I say this! The food of those stalls... they were the best!

I enjoyed myself running through the streets here and there, my mom and dad behind me laughing and chatting. It was after a long time I got that freedom and I made sure to enjoy it at my best.

"Kenneth don't run so fast! Ken come here!"

They would shout and then I would slow myself down, but again... after a few minutes they would find me running like I was insane and smiling to each and every person by the stalls. Then, by the evening, we started on our journey again and it was still a long way to the farm from the stalls. Obviously, I was falling asleep, tired after running around. The atmosphere was so peaceful. I can remember mom and dad speaking and laughing softly to make sure they would not disturb my sleep and I can remember them often turning back from the front seats to check on me. It was all good and nice.

Going to a Village farm in the car with the radio playing our favourite songs with its volume turned really down; this is what I remember while my eyes were on their last moments before falling asleep and that was the last time... I saw them happily alive.

If only I knew... that was the last time seeing them laughing and happy... If only I knew! It was the last... I wouldn't have fallen asleep. I would have probably spent the most of those final moments with them. Also… my instincts, I think they never worked when I was close to them or maybe, they did and warned me, but I guess I was too excited of having them around that I did not realize the warnings given. Whatever it is, I lost both of them that day, never to see again.

The next moment I opened my eyes, all I saw was fire, smoke and blood on my right leg which was cut by a metal rod in the car. It didn't hurt. Gone numb. The car had turned upside down and surprisingly, I only had a minor injury. Don't know whether to call myself lucky or not.

I looked at my mom first. She was bleeding severely on her head that almost all her face was covered by blood and flesh had come out of her lower body. She showed no motion. I think, back then, she had already left me alone.

Next... my attention turned to dad whose hand untucked my seat belt. His head was covered in blood as well and his legs were stuck under the heating metal. But still, he managed to push me out of the car. I didn't know what I was crying for. But I cried. Because I was scared and I knew something bad was happening to my mom and dad.

"Ken. Run. Don't think of us my boy. Go away as far and fast as you can and hide somewhere. Don't come back no matter what happens. Remember ‘We love you’"

Those were his last words. I obeyed him. I didn't say a word back. Neither did I say "no" to what he asked me to do nor did I ask “why” he was asking me to do that. I acted just like a robot; just like a child of three years.

Why is dad telling me to go alone when he can come with me and when we can go together? Maybe he will come with mom.

That’s what I thought back then. I hid behind the tall grass which was on the side of the country-side road which was fairly distant from the vehicle.

Where’s dad? Maybe he’s having a hard time bringing mom… My eyes are hurting and it is so hot. When dad comes back with mom, I should tell them that my eyes had water even though I did not want to cry.  

I kept on thinking. I kept on hoping… hoping… that both of them will be beside me once again. If only I could hug both of them, if only I had a little sense back then, if only I could say something back to them, IF ONLY I Could Say I Love Them! For one last time....

I saw sparks with cringing noises and the next second, the car... It exploded. With my mom and dad in it. I didn't cry out aloud but I did cry until I felt dizzy. I didn't know what death was back then but I knew...my parents, my world, they were gone from my life. Forever.