Chapter 3

Maybe it was because of that smile, which warmed her features considerably and made her body language seem less closed. Maybe it was just pure shock. I stared at her, a frank, blatant stare that would have gotten me a slap back home.

"Are you completely space-fried? What could you possibly want with me?"

The captain leaned forward and gestured to my plate, which I hadn't touched in a while. Obediently I cut into my roast beef. The faint warmth coming off the plate itself kept my food from getting too cold, so it still tasted fine, but it was hard to eat. My heart pounded with anticipation, though what it was anticipating, I wasn't sure. I chewed quickly and thoroughly, swallowed past the lump in my throat, then cut another piece, waving it on the fork to demonstrate that I was following orders.

"Tell me, Xandri. Your opponent down there...how did you know to bluff?"

"Oh. Um..." Shit. The food churned in my stomach, along with disappointment. She really was just here to bust me. "Uh, just luck, I guess. You know, sometimes-"

"You know who I am. I'm not going to waste my time busting for a gambling den. The truth is, I already know what you did, but I want to hear it in your own words."

Her no-nonsense tone compelled me onward. "People...people don't only speak with words. There's all this other language that comes from the body and the face and the tone of voice and-well, normally people like me aren't too good at that sort of thing, I guess. I always had a hard time as a kid, though I didn't really understand it."

I realized I was babbling and flushed. "The point is, I spent the week watching him. He has this thing, his whiskers twitch in a certain way when he has a good hand. The more twitching, the better the hand. That's all."

"Sounds like a useful skill."

"It keeps me alive."

"I have a feeling it can do more than that."

"It works best with non-humans," I said, gazing down at the piece of beef still sitting on my fork. "I'm less good at it when it comes to my own species."

"Well, we might need to work on that a little, but it's not the main concern," Captain Chui said. "I'm in need of a new head of Xeno-liaisons. I don't employ diplomacy AI-they're expensive, and they don't always work. Too one-track, if you ask me, and it's little wonder the AFC has so little luck with them. No, I want someone who is truly capable of catching the small nuances and differences in other sapients, and I think you're the one for the job."

"Me?" Once again, I stared.

She had the grace to ignore my gawping. "Why not? You pay attention and you perceive. A natural instinct for reading others isn't necessary and, I suspect, might prove detrimental. Your constant awareness, on the other hand, means you're less likely to assume too soon that you have the answers."

"I...suppose..." Assumptions, as I knew all too well, could put me in danger. "But-"

"You'd get to see new planets before most people, new lifeforms, even meet new sapient species. What do you think?"

What did I think? My heart raced so fast, I thought it might gallop out of my chest. The idea of going to space was, in and of itself, enough to make me want to bounce in my seat. But to see new planets and new creatures, to see them up close instead of taking what I could get from the news and holos and the like? My hands shook. I set my fork down and reached into my pocket, rubbing the satin ribbon between my fingertips and trying to think straight.

"I know it sounds too good to be true-"

Ah ha ha. Understatement.

"-but I promise you, Xandri, I'm very serious. Here, take a look at this."

She drew something off the seat beside her and slid it across the table: a holo-slate. I leaned in as she tapped it, launching a glowing blue holo-screen into the air above the table. With quick, nimble fingers, she brought up an image, fully three-dimensional and rotating so I could get a good look at it.

I reached toward it, wonder holding my breath prisoner in my throat. It looked a bit like a parrot-if parrots had more human-like bauplans. It was almost fully upright, only the slightest forward tilt of its body allowing room for its tail feathers. Unlike with birds, its thighs extended down from the body rather than being tucked against it. Feathers covered it almost completely, except for right below the thigh, where scaly legs led down to sizable, four-toed feet with daunting-looking claws. It had what looked like a combination of wings and arms, ending in finger-like appendages; not limbs that would allow it to fly. However, the prominent slope of its chest indicated a furcula: at some point in their evolution, this species had flown.

The image turned, giving me a look at the face. It was also much like a parrot's, and the beak was to size-a detail which would terrify most people, I was sure. A feather crest slicked back from its forehead, and an array of shorter feathers stood up, mane-like, around its crown.

"Real?" I managed to croak.

"Very real. They live on a rather wet planet, with a heavy biomass, and make their homes in the canopies of some of the largest trees you'll ever see. They have tools, industry, the beginnings of radio technology-the AFC considers them tribal, tree-hugging primitives, but I think you'll know better." Captain Chui smiled again. "Unfortunately, we're having some trouble getting them to cooperate."

"They're not interested in the Alliance?"

"I have no idea. I've sent people down the surface; the people of the planet capture them and leave them, tied up, where we can find them. I've also had my best R&D man send down some specialized probes. These," she waved a hand at the holo-display, "well, they appear to be making a game of capturing the probes, all while remaining out of sight of the cameras. Though we do have some footage."

A smile tugged at my lips. Their behavior sounded a bit like the sort of mischief my birds might get up to, were they fully sapient. Thank god they're not. Marbles already liked to play games like "hide mommy's toothbrush" and "steal Cake's treats."

"I want a new perspective on things, a new set of eyes and ideas," Captain Chui said. "This gives us the perfect opportunity to see if you can do the job."

It was a wonder I didn't shake myself right off my seat, I was trembling so hard. I could leave here, go to this other planet, speak to these people whom no one had spoken to before. I could be part of the Carpathia, part of a crew who truly made a difference in the universe, who smoothed diplomatic talks, rescued refugees, and protected flora and fauna from those who would exploit them. I could-

You? sneered a voice in my mind that sounded all too much like my mother's. You're the completely wrong person for a job like this. I shuddered, curling in over myself. Flashes came back to me, moments from endless visits with doctors; I remembered sitting there, listening to them talk about how I didn't really have the capacity for emotions or empathy, that my mother shouldn't expect affection or even friendliness from me. How could a wretched Pandora be right for anything?

"Xandri?"

"I'm sorry, Captain. I-I'm not the one you're looking for. I'll just mess it all up and-"

"That's what a trial is for. To see if you suit the job," Captain Chui pointed out.

"And if I don't? Then what? Will you send me back here? Maybe you'll hand me back over to them. For all I know, that's the whole plan, lure me in and...and..."

Her hands came down on the table with a light thump, enough to catch my attention but not to startle me. Slowly, I raised my gaze from the tabletop and looked at her. I waited for anger, the censure that my outbursts always brought from the authority figures in my life. I didn't mean for it to happen, but sometimes things just got away from me, and the things going on in my head would all tumble out at once.

"Listen to me," Captain Chui said. "You are not going back there. If you don't work out aboard the Carpathia at all, in any capacity, then I will make sure a place is found for you. You don't even have to return to Wraith. But I swear to you, on my life and my ship, that I will not let you fall into their hands again."

She sounded so sincere, I wanted to believe her. But I'd been wrong before, very wrong. As in, dear god, what a miracle I was still alive levels of wrong.

Navigate this carefully, Xan... I needed something more, no matter how sincere she appeared. If her interest was in reality only cursory, then it wouldn't take much for her to drop me. And maybe she wouldn't make me go back to Wraith, maybe she'd even find a safer place for me, but I couldn't be sure.

"I have pets," I hedged. "I won't leave them behind."

One slender eyebrow rose. "Pets, is it?"

"Well, I prefer the term companion animals, but a lot of people don't seem to get that. They're parrots. An African grey and a conure."

"Do they have space travel adaptations?"

I nodded. "I made sure when I got them. And I keep their nanobots up-to-date."

"Then I see no problem," Captain Chui said. "We can even have cages made for you so you don't have to haul theirs around. Normally we don't keep much in the way of animals aboard the Carpathia, but as long as you're comfortable with them being aboard, it's fine."

Huh. That went easier than expected. The amount of landlords I'd had to argue with about my birds-damn, I'd long ago lost track. Usually I ended up paying an extra fee, yet this woman was even willing to have cages made for me. Sure, they'd likely come from the ship's replicators and thus not be terribly costly, but even so, the kindness of the gesture surprised me. Time for a bigger test.

"Part of me would really like to go," I said, picking my words with care. "But...if I'm being completely honest, I don't always like the way the Alliance operates."

She waited, watching me with slightly raised eyebrows.

"It's either their way, or no way. You're a member or you aren't. I know they'll protect any planet that needs it, member or no, but...I've always felt like there aren't enough choices. Non-member planets can't trade with member planets, or experience any of the benefits the Alliance can offer. They just have to take it or leave it, and-and I'm not sure I want to be part of a system with so little nuance."

There, I'd said it. Oh god, did that make sense? What if it didn't make sense? Expressing myself was, by default, not high up on my list of skills.

Captain Chui canted her head a little bit, her lips pursed. "Agreed," she said, astonishing me. "Tell me...have you any thoughts on what sort of changes you would put into place, if you could?"

"Well, I...I've had a few ideas," I admitted, my gaze firmly on the tabletop. "But it's unlikely parliament would listen to me."

"No, but they tend to listen to me, whether they want to or not. The Carpathia has a very good track record. Tell you what. Write down your thoughts and we can look them over together. If I agree with your methods, I'll put them before parliament."

Wow. I peered up, forcing myself to study her face. It was so damn hard to read; even if she was being insincere, I'd be unlikely to be able to detect it. And I couldn't see a reason she would lie about all this. Which didn't mean there wasn't one, but if she was lying, the why was hard to discern. So I hesitated, because I wanted it so bad and yet I didn't dare say yes.

I froze as Captain Chui reached down onto the seat next to her. Braced as I was for violence, I almost fell out of my seat when she placed two pill packages on the table. One held two pills, a gray one and a dark brown one. The other held six more of the dark brown pills. Next to those she set down a small, thin plastic card that I recognized as a key for accessing one of the docks up at the spaceport.

"You don't have to make a decision right this second," she said, "though I must warn you, I can only stay a few more days before I return to my crew. If you decide you'd like to join us, then you'll need these." She set a hand on the smaller pill packet. "This will set up a filter-implant. The first night, you take these two-builder nanos and supply nanos that will get the filter started. Then you take the rest of them once a day. It's likely your throat will get a bit sore, but you shouldn't worry unless you lose your voice.

"Now this," she tapped the plastic card, "will get you into Dock 14 at the nearby spaceport. You'll be looking for a ship called Mr. Spock."

I blinked. What the hell kind of a name was Mr. Spock?

"I will, of course, pay you for your time, whether you stay on with us or not. If you do decide to come-and to stay-we can discuss salary. How does that sound?"

I squirmed in my seat, lost for words.

"Give yourself a little time to think about it. I'm not leaving immediately. And you're welcome to stop by the dock if you find you have further questions," she added. "Is that acceptable?"

I nodded and reached out, carefully touching the keycard. If it was real, then she was showing a lot of trust in handing it to me. I could make a tidy bit of credit, selling this off to parts-dealers who'd love to get into a dock at the spaceport. Not that I would, I thought as I pocketed it, and reached for the pills. No smart person gets herself mixed up with those assholes. There were plenty of ways to make money on the streets of Wraith, fast, plentiful money, and all of them involved being tangled up in shit that was best left alone.

"Why don't you take some of this home," Captain Chui suggested, gesturing at the food as she rose. "It would be a shame for it to go to waste."

"Oh. Um, yeah. Thank you."

She smiled, the fullest smile I'd seen from her yet. "Don't thank me. It's just the old gunnery sergeant instincts talking. If you join us, you'll learn to hate that soon enough."