Programmer in Another World

EPISODE 20 - A Starting Point

The next day passes by, morning came, and Phize goes inside the school. He enters the classroom and sits down on his chair.

He asked himself, "What am I supposed to do right now..."

"It's been so long since I've thought about my purpose..."

He is reminiscent of what Hagah said to him. Her voice echoes through his mind, "...SO ACT ON YOUR MISSION!..."

He looks at the whiteboard Hasha is writing on.

"So, I'm supposed to do what I'm supposed to, eh? Thinking about it, why was I reincarnated? Wasn't it a second chance for me? Or was there another purpose?" he extrapolated.

"Wait..."

"Why am I supposed to fulfill the request of someone I don't know? Sure, I'd like to thank them... but this is my life. I should find my own purpose," he comprehended.

...

..

.

He sighs. He tries to envision what he could do.

"All I had in mind was to change myself and spend my everyday life... with her. Now that she's gone, I lost my purpose. I need a starting point... where I could find a purpose once more..."

"...a starting point..."

Deeply in thought, Hazel looks at him only to see him not listening to the class, "Huh? Um..."

"He's speaking weird things again," she thought.

"A starting point... would be to make a friend once more... to fill the gap in my heart. Yeah, that could work," he concluded.

He examines the classroom, one by one analyzing the faces of the students.

"Who should I be friends with?" he questioned himself.

He focuses on his two seatmates, Hazel at his left, and a guy to his right.

"As much as possible, I would like someone to talk by my side, so maybe a seatmate would do?" he thought.

He looks at the guy beside him and then looks at Hazel trying to break his indecisiveness.

"I should try befriending a guy," he figured.

He taps the shoulder of the guy beside him. The guy looks at him but he ignores him.

"Um, hey?"

The guy was particularly in a bad mood, "What is it? We're having a lesson, so if you could, please make it short."

"W-What's your name?"

"Seriously? Even after three years, you still don't..." he grunts, "I'm Gastic Jif, what business do you have with me?"

"Um, c-can you be my friend?"

With a surprised expression, he clarifies what was just asked of him, "Huh?"

He laughs at his question, mocking how childish it sounded, "AHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I didn't know you were a funny guy."

"I wasn't jokin-"

"Look here, if you're thinking of being friends with me, then forget it. If I became friends with you, the Cursed Child, then what would happen to my reputation? Geez, no wonder you fell from first rank."

He stared at his desk contemplating the child's harsh words. He was deeply scarred, so such words would wound anyone with trauma.

"To be insulted by a child... I sure have come a long way," he pitied himself as tears started running down his eyes and to his cheeks.

"NO! I mustn't give up. Just forget what he said and ask my other seatmate," he thought as his tears temporarily halted. In desperation, he turns to his other seatmate, Hazel.

"What if she says the same thing?" he hesitated.

He looks at his hands and clenches them to show his resolve.

"Might as well try."

He taps Hazel's shoulder. She slowly looks at him with a somehow terrified face though her eyes were not exactly fixated on him but above him.

"W-What is it?"

"Why is she shaking? Is she scared or nervous?" he questions himself.

She inhales greatly and finally exhales.

"Y-You need me for something?" she asked while her eyes were alternating between an area above him and Phize himself.

"I know this may be sudden but would you willing to be my friend?"

She continues to glare at the area above him.

"Hm, what are you looking at?"

She rubs the question off, "Oh, nothing, nothing. Sure why not?"

She concentrated on him now.

"She's kinder than my other seatmate. I think I made the right chance," he thought.

The bell rings.

12:00 NN

"Oh, it's lunchtime," Phize thought.

Hazel stretches over her desk.

"HIYAAHH! That sure was a long lesson wasn't it?"

"I-I guess?"

"I wasn't listening at all," he recalled.

"How about this? Let's eat lunch together."

"Huh?"

"To celebrate the first day of our friendship!"

"Ah yes yes, good point."

They both head to the cafeteria. Inside the cafeteria, there were groups of students sitting on circular stools near the rectangular tables and they happen to stumble upon one empty place.  They sit down facing each other on the long part of the rectangular table.

"What'd ya get?" she curiously asked.

"A mayonnaise sandwich," he answered with a low voice.

"Woah, is it your favorite food or something?"

"Not really, it's more of... a tribute."

"Ohh."

...

..

.

"Um... I have some fried chicken that my mother made me."

She opens her lunch box and shows it to him.

Inside the lunch box was shown to be two chicken wings covered in breading fried to a crisp with rice and some of its juices leaking through the rice.

"Woah," he said so with a bit of drool coming out of his mouth.

"Would you like some?"

"Is it ok?"

"Sure thing."

"Her kindness makes me remind of my past best friends," he thought.

"He's kinda gloomy. I should try to be a bit kinder to him," she thought.

She puts rice and a bit of chicken on a spoon and she raises it to his mouth.

"Here."

"What?"

"I'm feeding you."

His mind suddenly panics, "Oh no. No. No."

He violently shakes upon hearing an offer. It reminded him of a specific someone. He hastily grabs the spoon.

He stutters, "T-Thank you, b-but I think I c-can feed myself."

He eats the food inside the spoon.

"Thank you."

He gives back the spoon to Hazel.

"T-Thank you."

...

..

.

"Um, Phize, I'm sure this is ridiculous, but have you heard of ghosts?" she asked trying to clear the mood.

"Ghosts? I don't think they exist."

"Well, I don't wanna surprise you but there's a ghost behind you right now."

He looks behind him.

"There's nothing the-"

"BOO!"

"Huh?"

"Huh? Did that not get you?"

She chuckles.

"I guess I have to try a bit harder," she said as she smiles at him.

He is dumbfounded from seeing her.

"Please. No. Not that innocent smile..." his mind panicked.

Within his thoughts, the image of Pallitra appears.

"We don't need to be shy when we know what we feel about each other, right?" Pallitra smiles while declaring.

Phize stares at the ground and holds his head with both of his arms to try and control himself. His mind was slowly being overtaken by past memories of her.

"P-Phize?"

He cries.

"NO. NO. NO. NO!" he shouted in his mind.

He runs away from the table.

"I'M SORRY!"

He exits the cafeteria and runs through the hallways. He finds the boys' bathroom with 3 stalls, he goes inside one of them and locks himself up. He slowly sits down on the toilet and then lets his tears flow.

"I CAN'T DO IT AFTER ALL! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T! IT HURTS SO BAD!"

The tears drip one after the other on his chin.

"Why... why..."

"I thought making new friends would fill the hole in my heart. BUT WHY... WHY DOES IT FEEL SO WRONG?!"

"It's as if the hole in my heart grew larger instead. It hurts... it hurts so bad..."

END OF EPISODE 20