Rise of the Sciencemancer

George and James had been sneaking up onto the roof of their school and hiding behind the parapet since they were in kindergarten together, even in the winter, when it was cold and sometimes icy up there. They could peek over the parapet and have a good view of Sutter’s Village since the school was one of the tallest buildings in the community.

Years had passed since kindergarten. George and James had grown much older. They were about to graduate from school. George would test at the Magic College of Praxis in Capitol City the next day, a very prestigious honor that George would have on account of his family heritage. James, born to a lesser bloodline, would be apprenticed to a local wizard right in Sutter’s Village. The two youths didn’t really expect to see each other much after they parted ways, so they were enjoying one of the last times that they thought they would ever hang out together.

That day, they were in for a real treat, a rare spectacle. Below them, in the town square that their parapet faced, a public trial was underway. A local washerwoman had been accused of committing science. Scientists were terrorists and insurrectionists against the governance of the Society of Sorcerers Born. Proponents of science claimed that anyone could do science. They claimed that one didn’t have to be born with the Gifting of Magic in their bloodline to understand the workings of the universe. The more outspoken and revolutionary scientists spoke of a day to come in which Sorcerers Born and common peasantry would be equals, sharing in the fruits of society side by side. Unthinkable!

The washerwoman who stood accused of practicing science sat in a chair with her back to the fountain that graced the middle of the town square. She was flanked by her guards, who seemed hardly necessary as the woman looked completely broken emotionally as well as physically exhausted. George didn’t doubt that Anti-Science Inquisitors had kept her up all night trying to convince her to confess.

Before her, upon a raised stage, sat a Wizard’s Tribunal, made up of three local ranking wizards from Sutter’s Village. One of them was one of George’s current teachers. One of them was the school principal. The third was an older teacher who had retired before George and James had grown old enough to attend his advanced classes.

Around the town square, about a hundred folk had gathered to see the trial. The Wizard’s Tribunal had called for witnesses. A competing washerwoman was testifying, not just looking at the faces of the Tribunal, but passionately presenting herself to the gathered crowd, trying to stir them up to her side of things.

“Mabel and I have, of course, had a friendly rivalry through the years in our respective laundry businesses…”

A heckler from the crowd interrupted. “It’s not so friendly now, is it?”

The witness, though she paused to glare wickedly at the heckler, was undeterred. “But, of late, Mabel’s business has taken all my customers, even generational customers, babies whose diapers I washed growing up and then paying me to wash their own children’s diapers. And why? Because she uses this!”

The witness pulled from her satchel a pouch. Untying the straps on the pouch, she dumped the contents, a white crystalline powder upon the ground dramatically. Though George and James, hidden behind their parapet, were behind the Tribunal’s stage, George could imagine them raising their eyebrows at this display.

“What is this?” asked the school principal, the central figure of the Tribunal.

“It’s–” began the witness.

“Let the defendant answer for herself,” instructed the principal.

The defendant, Mabel, looked up. There didn’t seem to be any hope on her face or in her voice. She looked resigned to her fate. She did, however, still possess some dignity about her. She would do her best to answer the questions presented to her with whatever honesty she could. George wondered how a nice lady like her could ever have gotten mixed up in science

“They are simple salts, m’lord. They soften the water.”

“Soften?” The principal seemed incredulous. “Why would water need softening? Water is not hard.”

“Unless it is ice.” The older, retired teacher on the Tribunal had not spoken until now. When he did, the crowd all “oooooooooed” and “aaaaaaaaaahed” as if that was the most profound thing they had ever heard.

A pause made it apparent that she wouldn’t interrupt one of the Tribunal members, so the witness took the opportunity to continue to testify against her business rival. “She makes Sutter’s grime go away.”

The crowd “oooooooooed” and “aaaaaaaaaahed” again. Everyone in Sutter’s Village knew that anything or anyone who washed in the local well water would be covered in a harmless but distinct crusty layer known as Sutter’s grime.

“Is this true?” the principal asked the crowd. “Are there any witnesses that can attest that this washer woman makes their clothes clean without Sutter’s grime?”

Several villagers came forward, guiltily confessing that they had preferred that Mabel do their laundry since it made their clothes, towels, and diapers softer and grime free. They swore on the graves of their ancestors that they had no idea whatsoever that science was involved..

The principal looked at Mabel. “Whence did you learn this water softening science?”

“M’lord, I took in a traveler for the night a few weeks ago, one who was poor and could not pay. He wanted to offer me something in repayment, so he showed me how to make my laundry business prosper by softening the water. He said the water from our wells here in Sutter’s Village was hard. I laughed at first. Whoever had heard of hard water, lest it be ice, as the good old master has rightly said? But the traveler bade me to do a load of laundry after he had treated the water with salts. And the results, many assembled here are wearing right now.”

The crowd got nervous and shifted uncomfortably, as if their clothes had somehow contaminated them with science.

“We’ve heard enough,” the principal proclaimed. “Washerwoman Mabel, we, this lawfully assembled Wizard’s Tribunal, hereby find you guilty of practicing science.”

Ominously, at that moment, the town bell rang the hour, signaling to George and James that they had to leave their special spot and return to their classes, both of them vowing to never, ever have anything to do with science.