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The Mistress of Hands
Lyra did not touch her mother.I watched it happen, and I have never forgotten it. The little weaver stood on the wet steps of the water gate with her thin arms held out and her gray shawl slipping from her shoulders, saying little bird, little bird, and her daughter stood ten feet away with both fists clenched in her blanket and did not move. She did not weep. She did not speak. Her face had gone as smooth and blank as a stone."Lyra," I said, very low."Don't.""It might be—""I know what it might be." Her voice was a thread, pulled tight. "I've heard that voice. I've heard it come out of my own mouth. I'm not going to touch her, Kael, until I know."The woman's arms sank slowly to her sides. She did not look hurt. She looked, if anything, like someone who had expected it, and had decided in advance to bear it as well as she could. She nodded once, a small, tired, courteous nod, and drew her shawl back up over her hair."That is quite right," she said. "I would not either."It was t
The First Vote
I had never asked anyone's permission for anything in my life, and I discovered that I was very bad at it.I stood at the head of the old hall, in front of the wall of the ledger, with forty-one people sitting on the floor in front of me, and I could not think where to put my hands. I put them behind my back. I put them in front. I folded my arms, which Dax later told me made me look like a man about to be sick. Finally I let them hang, and that was worst of all, because then I could feel how much they were shaking."I've called you here," I said, "because I've been told I'm not allowed to decide this alone."Somebody in the second row coughed, politely. It sounded like a laugh."In three days a woman is coming to the water gate. Her name is Anhet. Some of you have met her. She led the Hands who came at us in the gully. She was the one who took Lyra." I looked at the faces. Hemar, with his cracked oar across his lap. Garo, arms folded, jaw like a rock. Orin leaning against the far wal
The Locked Door
I went up to the seventh terrace on the second night, because I wanted to be afraid of something I could look at.The stair was long and cold and dark, and I took it slowly, one hand against the wall. I had not been up there since the morning Dax first showed me the door. I had told myself it was because I was busy. That was not exactly a lie. I had a city to feed, a Shroud to feed, an army of fishermen to arm and a ledger to keep, and a line of gray cloaks somewhere on the coast road with a child's weapon in a cart. But I had also, I think, been avoiding it the way one avoids a letter one knows to be bad.The great door stood at the top of the stair, exactly as before. Twice my height, set deep in the black stone, with its three silver circles, one inside the other, gleaming faintly in the thin blue light of the crater.I stood in front of it for a long time.CHARGE: 31%. SIGNATURE: 41. ECHO: 24%."All right," I said, to the dark. "I'm ready.""No," said the Interface. "I do not beli
The Arithmetic of Time
I decided, on the third night after the hill, to find out exactly how much of the world I had ruined.It was not a noble impulse. I want that understood. I had lain awake for two nights on a bench in the Forge, staring up at the dead arms of the fabricators and thinking about a child in a chair, and somewhere around the middle of the third night my mind did what it always did when it could not bear a feeling. It reached for a pen.I took a stick of charcoal and went to the long pale wall of the old hall, where the budget of the sleeping terraces still ran in square black figures from floor to shoulder. I looked at it a while. Then I began, very carefully, to rub it out."What are you doing?" said the Interface."Starting again.""The figures are accurate. I checked them.""I know they're accurate. They're the wrong figures." I wiped a long black smear down the wall with the heel of my hand. "That's a list of what the city costs. I want a list of what I cost."There was a pause. I had
The Sun-Spear
Dax had been gone eleven days when the sky screamed.I was kneeling in the dead garden with a spade in my hands, turning over the sour soil of the one bed I had never been able to let go of, when the sound began. It did not come from above. It came from the ground, from the walls, from the glass floor of the crater a hundred feet below me, a vast, low, rising note like the cry of a struck bell the size of a mountain. The lamps swung on their chains. Dust fell from the vault in thin pale streams. Every bone in my body hummed in sympathy, and the spade rang in my hands like a tuning fork."Kael," said the Interface. It did not sound like itself. It sounded like a child woken by a nightmare. "Kael. Kael. Kael.""I'm here. What is it?""Look at the number."I did not need to be told which. I looked, and I felt the blood go out of my face like water from a cracked jar.SIGNATURE: 41.It had been twenty-four that morning. It had been falling, slowly and steadily, for two months. I had watch
The General's Army
An army, I learned that spring, is mostly shouting.I stood on the edge of the third terrace with my hands in my belt and watched Orin shout at forty fishermen. They stood in two ragged lines across the empty garden, between the dead beds and the dark glass lamps, each holding a long ash oar from the Marat boats. Some of them were old. Some of them were barely old enough to grow a beard. At the end of the second line, a stocky woman named Garo, who had hauled nets for thirty years and could outswear any soldier I had ever met, held her oar like a dead snake."Again," roared Orin. "Oars up! Up, not out. Garo, you are not poling a boat. Oars up."The oars went up, with a clatter. Most of them. One came down on a neighbor's foot, and a howl of pain rose into the vault."Better," said Orin, in the tone of a man who had seen worse and survived. "Now present. Present! You are standing in front of a man with a bronze spear, and you have a long piece of wood. What do you want to do?""Hit him
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