THE NIGHTMARE

Chapter 8

"In  the end, what are you doing here?"

He said with a protective rasp, "Watching you."My knees buckled at his statement, which was so seductive and possessive.

"Well, when I leave with you on my eighteenth birthday, you can watch me as much as you want, but for now, I want my privacy."I turned around and started running away.

"An easy thank you would be sufficient,"

“Whatever.”I moaned under my breath and never went back, but the sound of his dress shoes cracking the dead leaves and stray tree branches with each step told me he was right on my tail.As it burned into my flesh, my birthmark started to itch.

"I cannot comprehend you.I am the only person who ever loves, defends, or protects you, yet you despise me.He appeared in front of me at such supersonic speed that I abruptly stopped.

"I hate you because you took my life," she said.

He gave us a sarcastic glance around the area before shrugging casually.You can have a better life than this with me.I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was correct.It was the fundamental issue.He made decisions for me throughout my adult life.Because he was controlling my future, I was powerless to make choices.

Valerian, "Leave me alone."As I passed him, I slammed my shoulder into his.My heart shook violently as the sound waves of his sarcastic chuckle sped it up in love.It was hard to keep my teenage hormones from giving in to him because everything about him was sexy, even his voice.Anger and mistrust drove the only logical part of my brain.He grabbed my arm and spun me into his chest before I could get away from him.As the heat rushed through me at such a rapid rate that it took my breath away, my muscles tightened.But I stood firm.I only allowed my thoughts to be fueled by my hatred for him.

"Whether you like it or not, you are mine."

I snarled through gritted teeth,

"I will never be completely yours."Before releasing my arm from his grasp, I gave him a hard stare.He surrendered by taking a few steps back and softening his eyes as if defeated.Before he decided to follow me again, I ran away quickly.

I dashed inside as soon as I got home.My mother was yelling at me to finish my chores because I was a little behind schedule.Balrus followed me around, begging to be my helper, while I hurriedly swept the kitchen, mopped the floors, and made dinner.Belarus was ten years old at the time, and he never hesitated to retaliate against my mother when he was caught by her for allegedly forcing him to do my work. She would scold me for this each time he was caught.

He defended me while I covered my smile, saying, "I asked her if I could help."

“Balrus, do not sympathize with her.”

“I’m not.I just want to improve my cooking skills.She never makes me do anything for her.It is simply because I wanted to assist her.As our mother backed away and retreated into the living room, he snapped.

I cooked dinner and set the table with Balrus.As I prepared a bowl of goulash and a loaf of rye that was old and dry, I served baked herring, fried potatoes, and steamed broccoli with butter to my parents and Balrus.Even though I cooked, my parents insisted that I not eat the extravagant meals.I had to be creative over the years to ensure that I would have enough food to last each week because I was given a very small weekly allowance to buy my own meals' groceries.Every night, my brother would argue about it with Sirius and Elora, but they would never change.

Because I was not permitted to eat with them, I carried my food upstairs to my bedroom.Since I hadn't eaten all day, I was starving.Because I woke up late, I had to skip breakfast, I didn't have enough money to pay for lunch at school, and I gave the swans the crackers I had stolen, so I ate my pasta almost immediately.When I was done, I locked myself away in the bathroom that Balrus and I shared, took a quick shower, and then dashed off to bed.The encounter with the monster, which was Valerian rather than the bear, left me exhausted.

As my thoughts got bogged down in old nightmares, I tossed and turned.My birthmark was scorching my skin as I dreamed of the day my parents sold me to that terrifying vampire.As he intently followed me as I made my way toward him, Valerian's green eyes penetrated my soul.While they tossed me away like trash just taking up space, my parents praised him like a god.

I detested each one.

I resented my mother for letting this happen.

My father's admission that he never wanted me made me hate him.

I detested Valerian most of all, however.His arrogant grin, damning eyes, and bizarre desire to have me for himself were all things I detested.I was just a young child.What was he looking for in me?What was it that made me so unique?Why didn't he just lend a helping hand to Balrus without expecting anything in return?On that day, I committed to making his life with me a living hell if he took me away on my 18th birthday.He would be sorry he ever preyed on a young girl and her parents, who were just trying to save their son out of sheer desperation.

I couldn't bear to despise Balrus.Like me, he was innocent of everything.He simply obtained a better deal from the situation.He was able to recover from his near-death experience and continue living his life as a normal child with parents who adored him without reservation.

Balrus had my envy.

But I loved him just as much as my parents did, if not more, despite my jealousy.I had become increasingly close to Balrus.I read bedtime stories to him when he would wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares.I would occasionally read from the books on his bookshelf.I would occasionally invent my own story.As I wrapped my arm around him and brushed his hair with my fingertips, he would curl into my side.His eyes would droop and his breath would become shallow as I read, as if he were finally safe and free from his nightmare.He would whisper, "You are special, Catelyn," before falling asleep.I don't know why your parents are so cruel to you.

He showed me what true unconditional love was, and he was the only person in the world who made me feel important.In return, my only desire was to safeguard Balrus.Before I allowed him to be hurt, I would die.Despite the fact that making that declaration helped me cope with the fact that I was sold for my brother's health, I was still angry and felt selfish for it.I wanted to have a normal life, get a degree, make friends, go to college, and date boys at school.Rather, despite the fact that technically I didn't belong to him until I was 18 years old, I was forced to remain pure and unaffected by humans because I was afraid that showing affection to another person might irritate Valerian.I just wanted to be a normal teenager, but Valerian and my parents took away that time in my life.I had no say over what was going to happen in my future.It disgusted me that I was just a slave doing what my master told me to.I desired freedom.

Without Valerian.

Without my parents.

free of the school bullies who made fun of me.

Why was everyone so afraid of me?I was thought to be demon by Sirius.His beliefs were echoed in my mother.Because of my bright red hair, the kids at school thought I was a Satanic child.My school torture was still orchestrated by Selina Bryan.They would say they were trying to purify my soul as they would sprinkle salt on my shirt.They would spread the rumor that I was possessed if anyone got too close to me, and that I performed devilish rituals in my bedroom.So, to be safe, no one spoke to me.They poured thick red corn syrup all over me, imitating the scene from Carrie, when I had to give a speech on my English Literature project about folklore my sophomore year.I had no idea what it was like to be surrounded by girls who were interested in me.I had no idea what friendship was or how it felt to me.

Because it was all Selina Bryan's fault, I detested her.

They would occasionally receive what they deserved.Although I mostly thought of it as karma, I knew deep down that it was more than that.The darkness within me would spin and pull each time my bullies were chased away, as if it were calling for help, and the way they were punished was never natural.There were no reasons given.For instance, one day after school, while I was waiting for my mother, who was, as usual, extremely late (she probably forgot to pick me up again), Selina and her clique began joking about how I had been abandoned.My head was pulled back by one of the girls, and she slammed me into the concrete.I quickly shielded my face when she was about to punch me, but to my surprise, the punch never came.The girl's scream flew through the air like she had been thrown, and that was all I could hear.As I heard them run, Selina and the other girls wept.I was completely alone when I uneasy opened my eyes.I never saw the girl who slammed me to the ground again.Her parents moved her to a nearby school district because she was so scared.I desperately desired to be accepted by my classmates, despite the fact that they laughed at me.I simply desired to fit in.