The Divine Farmer Of Monster Meat

The sky was a bruised, sickly violet, hanging low over a landscape that looked like it had been shredded by gods and left to rot. Felipe Adi pulled himself up from the dust, his ribs feeling like jagged shards of glass pressing against his lungs. Every movement sent a fresh wave of nausea rolling through his stomach a deep, hollow, aching void that had been gnawing at him for days.

"Ugh, man… where the hell am I?" Felipe croaked, his voice sounding like dry leaves skittering across pavement. He clutched his stomach, his hands trembling. "Everything hurts. My head, my chest… I’m starving. I could eat a literal brick right now."

He looked around. The horizon was nothing but jagged, obsidian-colored rocks and grey, lifeless scrub brush. There wasn't a drop of water or a single tree in sight. He wiped the dirt from his face, but his skin felt like sandpaper.

"Okay, Felipe, calm down," he whispered to himself, trying to ignore the way his vision swam. "Think. You were… walking? No, running. Someone was chasing you. Or something."

A rustle in the rocks nearby caught his attention. He froze, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. Out from behind a jagged outcrop scuttled a creature—a rodent, the size of a cat, but its fur was matted with acidic slime and its teeth were long, serrated needles of yellow bone. It hissed, its eyes glowing with a faint, malevolent red light.

"Whoa, easy there, buddy," Felipe muttered, backing away, though his legs felt like jelly. "I’m not looking for trouble. I’m just trying not to drop dead."

The creature didn't care. It lunged, its claws scraping against the rock with a sound like a dentist’s drill. Felipe panicked, his instinct overriding his weakness. He swung his heavy, rock-hard boot outward, catching the beast square in its ribs. It went flying, hitting a jagged stone with a sickening crunch.

"Damn, that was close," Felipe breathed, panting heavily. He watched as the creature twitched, let out one final, wheezing squeak, and went still. "Man, I hope you taste better than you look. I’m literally at death’s door here."

Suddenly, a transparent blue screen flickered into existence right before his eyes. It was jarring, glowing with a soft, pulsing light that seemed to cut right through the dim, oppressive air of the wasteland.

[Monster Agriculture System Initialized.]

[Condition Met: First Kill Confirmed.]

[Harvesting Potential Detected.]

Felipe stumbled back, nearly falling over his own feet. "Whoa! What the hell? Am I hallucinating? Is this, is this heatstroke?"

"System? You there? Hello?" he asked, waving a hand through the translucent text. His hand passed right through, but the screen stayed locked in his field of vision. "Are you going to talk to me, or just sit there glowing like a neon sign in a dumpster?"

The text shifted.

[User: Felipe Adi identified.]

[Status: Critical Starvation detected.]

[Tutorial unlocked: Basic Monster Cultivation.]

"Oh, great. Now the hallucination is being sarcastic," Felipe muttered, though he couldn't help but stare. "If you’re a system, do you have food? Any snacks? A sandwich? I’m serious, I’ll take a granola bar. Anything."

[System Note: Immediate food source unavailable. Planting protocol enabled.]

[Please harvest the ‘Serrated Fangs’ from the carcass.]

Felipe frowned, looking down at the dead monster. "You want me to touch that thing? It looks like it’s covered in radioactive sludge. Whatever, I’m dying anyway."

He knelt down, his stomach cramping so hard he doubled over for a moment. He reached out and gripped the creature's jaw. With a sharp tug, he yanked the serrated teeth free. They felt cold, strangely heavy, and hummed with a faint, rhythmic vibration against his fingertips.

"Okay, I got your teeth," Felipe said, looking at the jagged shards in his palm. "Now what? Do I swallow them? Because that sounds like a terrible way to end my day."

[Directive: Plant the monster teeth in soil with high mineral content.]

[Proceed to designated cultivation patch.]

Felipe looked around, exasperated. "Soil? You mean the literal dust and rocks? There’s nothing but dirt here! And wait, how do I even know where to plant them?"

A waypoint arrow manifested in his vision, pointing toward a small patch of slightly darker, loose soil near the base of a crater.

"Fine. Lead the way, I guess," he muttered, shuffling toward the spot. "This better be worth it. If I die planting teeth in a hole, I’m haunting the hell out of you, whatever you are."

He reached the patch of dirt and knelt down, his knees protesting the impact. He started digging with his fingers, the dry soil stinging his raw skin. He buried the teeth, patting the earth down as the system instructed.

"Is that it?" he asked, sitting back on his heels. "Do I water it? I don’t have any water. I haven’t had a drink in… I don’t even know. A day? A week?"

[Instruction: Channel minor latent energy into the soil.]

[Focus on your hunger. Use it as fuel.]

Felipe closed his eyes, his breathing ragged. He thought about the gnawing emptiness in his belly, the way his muscles felt like they were wasting away, and the desperate, burning need to simply exist for another hour. He pushed that feeling, that raw survival instinct, toward the patch of dirt.

"Come on," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Grow, or whatever it is you do. Don’t leave me hanging here."

He opened his eyes, and his jaw dropped.

The soil was bubbling. It wasn’t a slow, natural process; it was violent and sudden, like a spring bubbling up through mud. A vibrant, deep-emerald green sprout tore through the surface, twisting rapidly as it grew toward the dim sky. Within seconds, it had thickened into a sturdy stalk, and from its peak, a fleshy, protein-rich fruit shaped remarkably like a small, bundled cut of meat swelled and ripened, pulsing with a faint, golden light.

Felipe stared at the plant, his eyes wide, his hunger momentarily forgotten in the face of the impossible.

"No way," he whispered, his voice trembling with a mix of terror and awe. "It… it actually worked. I just grew dinner."

He reached out, his hand hovering over the strange, pulsating fruit. It smelled earthy, but beneath that, there was the undeniable, mouth-watering scent of roasted protein.

"Okay, System," Felipe said, a strange, desperate laugh bubbling up in his throat. "I think we’re going to get along just fine."