you're so old jokes

Theodore is a young man who dreams of making his loved ones happy. But who would have thought that making someone happy would be so difficult? Not only that, but what if everyone around him wasn't a normal human, including him?

After being used and pushed aside by a rich Miss Clarissa who only wanted to get in the mind of her ex, Trevor Vandelson who didn't have plans on claiming his inheritance changed his mind. He vowed to get revenge against her and also take back the riches that have been deprived of him by his jealous cousins and hateful father. "Find him, Retrieve the pendant, and kill him before he finds out who he is." Those were the words of Trevor's biological father to Trevor's cousins who were deadly twins. "How can a bastard be my heir?"

Within a world where humanity destroyed everything. Where World War V obliterated the whole planet from its central core, and possibly caused the downfall of the entire Solar System, or even the Galaxy. A being watching everything from a high stand point, beyond the constriction of Existence, decides to reshresh the whole Universe due to his deep love for his rebellious children. But this time, he sends them to an even grander world very similar to Earth, with three variables in hope to alter their Fate. The Seven Systems The Primordial Source. ...And a young man called Damien Gray. ***** ***** ***** Damien Gray was a very talented young man who went through a lot after the Genesis. He used his talent, potential and wits to survive in a world with seven protagonists and a terrifying omnipotent entity. But even then, even without being the main character, he finds an opportunity to make a wish from The Primordial Source. And his wish... was to be sent back in time, during the beginning of the Genesis, in hopes to give his race, Humanity, a second chance. Join Damien as this time, he sets a path of Absolute, Transcendence and Cosmic proportions for his entire race. Watch as he makes even the Seven protagonists seem like nothing but trash compared to him. Watch as he takes humanity to heights so high, not even the major races, the divine races and the outer eldrich races could try and compare. Watch as he becomes humanity's second chance.

The three ladies (his daughter, maid and lover) want a half of him, but seriously, who divides a half into three? * * * Athena has given her words to her father that Vulcan, the mortal is better than every god, Zeus, her father formed and proposed that she marry. Because of that, she can't return to her father with shame and regret. She stands her ground, she will fight for who she loves. The Nymph will not back down, because all her life, she had only been a puppet to Athena's will, and taking her man will be the best comeback. Prium will not let Vulcan off her hook because she had left every thing she was and had back in the village because of him. Returning to the village is a 'NO'. And Vulcan? He holds them all in same regard because all of them have been useful in one way or the other. But deep down, the memories he has shared sexually and emotionally with Athena back in fantasy keeps reminding him of his love for her.

Dare, A Nigerian whose educational and normal life was a mess, a poor fellow, with a sick mother, met a Billionaire online. He couldn't chat with her because he was a reserved person and the billionaire wanted him to reveal his dick pic. He shared his login details of the dating app with his friend who was open and carefree. But the friend betrayed him. Instead of working for him as they had agreed, his best friend stole the opportunity and traveled out of the country to meet the billionaire. Dare has a rich uncle who hasn't be there for his mother and him. But the uncle out of the blue showed up to help him. Dare thought of that as an opportunity to fly out of his country to search for the betrayer. He left for California with the aim of going to the Billionaire's house and ratting his friend out. But seeing the woman's daughter he fell for . Love at first sight.  So, his motive changed. The Billionaire woman, getting to know the true nature of his friend kicked the friend out and took him, Dare, in. But Dare doesn't really like the woman, he only wanted to stay with her because of her daughter. But the daughter doesn't like him, because she thought he was a gold digger who wanted to take his mother's properties. Now, he needs to devise a plan... A plan to convince the daughter, come clean with the mother and marry the daughter. His one month intention of staying in California is now prolonged. The fear of his mother about to come to pass.Disclaimer: This is no racist, sexiest or AROUSAL OF ANY SORT OF UPRISING. The work is based on true events and looks to deliver it with humor and reality.

Two twins, a detective and a serial killer.. When Cheryl Roberts looses her twin sister, Cherish Roberts, detective Kyle, her new found friend turned lover becomes a shoulder to lean on. But Cheryl does not rule out the fact that, the more this relationship continues, the more she endangers herself... And as though to confirm her thoughts, the wanted serial killer -a case her boyfriend is working on, reappears with the face of her dead sister... Find out if detective Kyle is capable enough to protect Cheryl or meeting him would become her deepest regret and nightmare....

After Selena was forced to leave Alpha Kian's kingdom for being his second chance mate she swore to never come back, leaving her family and friends behind. Without any other choice, she leaves the pack and has to survive on her own. With no pack or family to help her, she builds up her life. When fate one day interferes and she finds herself captured by the king's guards as an enemy and tossed in the castle's prison to be tortured. Can she escape without the King finding out his mate has come back to his kingdom, and keep her secrets hidden from him? When her life and the ones she cares about depend on her secrets. Is the King still the cold-hearted mate she once met a late night in the dark or has he changed?

What would you do, if you are offered a chance to a better life, but with a price attached to it?. ********************* This is the story of Adrian, A brilliant young man whose star has always been diminished by his wife’s family, and even thrown to the cold hands of death. He is mysteriously given a chance to a life every normal human being will call ‘a slice of heaven’. But that doesn't seem to be the case, as a lot of mysteries begin to unfold themselves. Go on this thrilling journey and find out how Adrian navigates this new world, while dealing with the old world he left behind. Read “RE-INCARNATED AS THE ZILLIONAIRE'S HEIR”

After taking her stepsister’s place, Yvonne Miller is married into a wealthy family. To take back her family business, she plots each step she takes carefully. Everyone knows Stephen Anderson is a cruel and ruthless person. Yet, his ugly and uncultured wife has him wrapped around her little finger. Stephen doesn’t mind that his wife’s an ugly duckling. On the contrary, he dotes on her excessively. When he hears gossip about his wife being ugly, with cosmetic surgeons offering her discounts, he whirls into a rage. “These blind dogs! My wife’s the most beautiful woman alive!” he insists.With that, a rumor spreads in Northerna City that Yvonne is Stephen’s retribution for his past misdeeds… Until one day, Yvonne returns from abroad drop-dead gorgeous, sending shockwaves all across the city. However, she doesn’t show up in Stephen’s life again. “What do you take me for, coming and going as you please?” he demands. Stepping aside to present the young kid behind her, Yvonne says in chagrin, “My child’s father?”

Rhianna Evangelista with her mother and younger sister Ylona was imprisoned in a mansion far from town and in a remote area owned by her stepdad Don Ysmael who's a well-known Drug Lord in the country who could not be apprehended and not get caught because of the connection he has.Because Rhianna wanted to save her mother and sister, even herself. She decided to run away from his stepdad to save her mother and younger sister. Then, she met Leonardo Estralta Jr., an Agent who saw her and protected her. She became a member of their organization and had the intent to hunt down and overthrow the people behind in helping Don Ysmael. was forbidden in the group.However, as time goes by, Leonardo falls in love with Rhianna and realizes that he loves her. Is he ready to relinquish the role of their group for the woman he loves and be with her until they get old and form a family with Rhianna or will he put aside his feelings and continue to serve the town?