An Immoral System Chose Me

Chapter 1: An Uninvited Tutorial

"Satya! Are you listening to me?!"

Mr. Bambang’s voice thundered, vibrating the mineral water cups on the long conference table. The fat beneath his chin wobbled in sync with his rage.

Satya blinked. He stared at the stack of files in front of him, then shifted his gaze to his boss’s beet-red face. "I’m listening, sir. Third-quarter targets, operational cost efficiency, and... yeah, that."

"And what? And you’re just daydreaming? Look at this!" Mr. Bambang pointed at the projector screen, which displayed a red line diving sharply downward. "The company is bleeding, and you’re sitting there like a corpse!"

"Sorry, sir. Not enough coffee."

"Not enough brains, you mean!"

Just as Mr. Bambang was about to continue his tirade, a subtle chime—like the notification sound of a high-end smartphone—echoed right in Satya’s ear.

[Ding!]

A transparent, neon-blue window appeared out of nowhere, floating right in front of Satya’s nose.

[Tutorial Mission: Awaken the Chosen One]

[Description: The world needs a hero, and that hero is you. Show your courage right now!]

[Objective: Stand on top of the table and shout loudly: "I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!"]

[Time Limit: 00:01:59]

[Reward: Experience Points +10, Skill: 'Beginner's Charisma']

[Penalty: Failure to complete the mission will result in 'Acute Diarrhea' for 24 hours.]

Satya was stunned. He rubbed his eyes. The window didn't disappear. In fact, it followed the movement of his head.

"Satya? What is it now? What’s wrong with your eyes?" Mr. Bambang asked, his voice rising an octave.

"Sir, do you see a... blue window in front of my face?" Satya asked quietly.

Mr. Bambang went silent for a moment, then exploded. "A blue window?! Do you think this is Windows 95 crashing?! I’m being serious here!"

"No, sir. It’s floating. There’s text on it. A Tutorial Mission..."

[System: Warning! 01:30 remaining. Do not ignore your destiny, User.]

"That voice..." Satya looked left and right. His colleagues were staring at him with pity. Rina, sitting next to him, whispered softly.

"Sat, are you okay? You look really pale."

"Rin, you didn't hear that 'ding' just now?"

Rina shook her head slowly. "What sound? Only the sound of Mr. Bambang’s blood vessels about to pop."

Satya took a long breath. Dammit. This was it. The trashy manhwa trope he often read when he was bored. A System, stupid missions, and a protagonist forced to act like a clown.

"I don't want to," Satya muttered.

[System: Excuse me?]

"I said, I don't want to. This mission is ridiculous. Stand on the table and shout that? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’d get fired or sent to a psych ward," Satya whispered, trying not to look like he was talking to himself.

"SATYA! STAND UP!" Mr. Bambang screamed.

Satya stood up reflexively.

[Mission Objective Detected: You are standing. Please proceed by shouting the key phrase.]

"There! You only stand up when you're told!" Mr. Bambang put his hands on his hips. "Now, explain why last month’s logistics report is a mess!"

Satya stared at the system window. The text "I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!" flickered in a gaudy gold color. The window now completely blocked Mr. Bambang’s face. Satya could only see his boss’s mustache poking out from behind the transparent text.

"No, Alpha. Or whatever your name is. I’m not doing it," Satya said firmly.

"Alpha? Who’s Alpha?! My name is Bambang!"

"Not you, sir. This... this System."

[System: User, the 'Acute Diarrhea' penalty will be activated in 00:45. Please consider your public dignity if your stomach explodes in this room.]

"What a low-class threat," Satya thought. "You think I’ll submit to a cheap script like this?"

[System: This is not a script. This is the evolution of reality. You have been chosen by the Creator to be the center of this narrative.]

"Narrative my foot. I want a normal life. I want to get paid, go home, sleep, and play games. I don't want to be a world hero who has to scream like a crazy person."

"SATYA! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!" Mr. Bambang slammed the table. THUD!

Satya looked at the bottom corner of the system window. There, he saw rows of tiny code moving incredibly fast. It looked like a bug in the display. His sharp eyes caught something familiar to a computer hobbyist like him.

Wait. Is that Source Code? Why is there a tiny 'X' in the top right corner that’s almost invisible?

"Rin, let me borrow your pen," Satya said suddenly.

"Huh? What for?" Rina handed him the pen, confused.

Satya narrowed his eyes. He tried to focus his vision on that virtual 'X'. He moved the pen through the air, attempting to "touch" the area.

[System: What are you doing? 00:20 remaining. Hurry up and shout the phrase!]

"Hold on, I’m looking for the close button," Satya muttered.

"SATYA! I’VE HAD IT! GET OUT OF THIS ROOM! YOU’RE SUSPENDED!"

Satya didn't care. He felt the tip of his pen hit something solid in the air. Click.

The blue window flashed red.

[System: Error! Illegal intervention detected. User is attempting to close the Tutorial window. Restarting protocol...]

"I won't let you," Satya smiled cynically. He saw the projector cable dangling near his feet.

If he did the mission, he’d be humiliated. If he failed, he’d have diarrhea in the middle of the meeting. There was a third option: environmental sabotage.

"Mr. Bambang, I’m sorry. I think I’m having a heart attack," Satya said in the flattest tone a human had ever heard.

"What—"

Satya intentionally snagged the projector cable until it unplugged, then kicked the chair behind him to create a loud noise. Before the system could issue the penalty, Satya collapsed onto the floor in a highly dramatic fashion, right under the conference table.

"Satya! Satya!" Rina screamed in panic.

"Call an ambulance! Quick!" Mr. Bambang’s voice shifted from anger to terror. "Don't die here, or the insurance paperwork will be a nightmare!"

In the darkness beneath the table, Satya squeezed his eyes shut.

[System: Tutorial Mission Failed due to User's physical condition being incapacitated. Delaying penalty... Recalculating...]

"It worked," Satya whispered to himself. "Real-world logic: if you're unconscious, you can't have diarrhea while standing up."

[System: You are very cunning, User. This was not in my algorithm.]

"To hell with your algorithm. Sleeping is better."

Satya woke up to the pungent smell of eucalyptus oil. He opened his eyes and saw a dull white ceiling. The office infirmary.

"Oh, you're awake?"

Ms. Sri, the coffee stall lady who doubled as the office's emergency medic (since she was the only one with a complete first-aid kit), stood beside him holding a bottle of medicated oil.

"Where am I, Ms. Sri?"

"In heaven. Just kidding. You're in the infirmary. You fainted while Mr. Bambang was throwing a fit. Impressive, Sat. You shut that tiger right up."

Satya sat up straight, rubbing his temples. "What time is it?"

"Five in the evening. Everyone’s gone home. Rina left a message, said she hopes you get well soon."

Satya breathed a sigh of relief. He was safe. No embarrassing shouting, no diarrhea, and most importantly, no blue window.

"Maybe it was just a hallucination from lack of sleep," he muttered.

"Lack of sleep or lack of money? Hey, is there a fly in front of your face? You’ve been swatting at the air for a while now."

Satya froze. "Ms. Sri... do you see something in front of my face?"

"Nothing. Just empty air. Why? Are you actually losing it?"

Satya swallowed hard. He looked forward. Empty. Clear. He gave a small smile. Maybe it really was just a nightmare caused by work stress.

[Ding!]

That sound again. Satya closed his eyes, hoping it was just his imagination.

[System: Update Complete. Adjusting to uncooperative User behavior.]

A red window appeared. This time, it was larger.

[Delayed Punishment Activated]

[Penalty Type: Urinary Incontinence]

[Duration: 12 Hours]

[Countdown: 3... 2... 1...]

"Ms. Sri!" Satya screamed in panic.

"What?! Are you going to faint again?!"

"The bathroom! WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?!"

"Well, it's at the end of the hall, but it's being repaired—"

Satya didn't wait for Ms. Sri’s explanation. He bolted from the infirmary bed, feeling a strange sensation in his bladder that suddenly felt unnaturally full.

"Alpha! You’re cheating! This isn't fair!" Satya yelled as he sprinted down the empty office corridor.

[System: Fairness is a human concept. The System only knows results. Enjoy your night, User.]

Satya reached the toilet door. Sure enough, there was a yellow sign that read "UNDER MAINTENANCE."

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!"

Satya racked his brain. He had to find a way. He wasn't a typical protagonist who would just give in. If the System wanted to play dirty, he would play even dirtier.

He reached into his pocket, grabbed his phone, and with trembling hands, searched for a contact.

"Hello? Police? Yes, this is Satya. I want to report a public disturbance. No, not a brawl. There’s... there’s a supernatural entity forcing me to urinate in public. Please just lock me up in a cell with a toilet! Right now!"

[System: ...?]

[System: User, did you just try to use law enforcement to avoid a narrative punishment?]

"This world has laws, Alpha," Satya whispered, holding back an intense urge. "And criminal law ranks higher than your plot armor."

Satya leaned against the wall, breaking into a cold sweat, while the System in front of him began to show signs of severe glitching. Error messages started popping up, obscuring his vision.

[System: Unexpected action. Recalculating variables... User 001 is an anomaly. Switching mode to: Frustration Mode.]

"Go ahead and be frustrated," Satya said, grimacing. "Because I’ve been frustrated since the moment I saw your face."

That night, in the dark office, Satya realized one thing: his life had indeed turned into a cliché story, but he was going to be the most annoying character to ever exist in any script.

[Ding!]

[New Mission: Save the Threatened 'Heroine'!]

Satya stared at the window with pure hatred. "No. Tomorrow I’m taking a sick day."

[System: Dammit.]

Satya paused. "What... what did you just say?"

[System: I mean, the Mission has been updated.]

"No, I heard you. You said 'dammit.' You can swear?"

The System didn't answer. The blue window slowly faded away, leaving Satya alone in the silent hallway with a bladder that was about to explode.

"Okay, Alpha. If you can get pissed off, it means you can be beaten," Satya muttered. "Let’s see who goes crazy first. You, or me."

Satya ran toward the security post, hoping at least the toilet there wasn't under repair. On the office ceiling, a tiny notification appeared silently:

[Reader Rating: 1.5/5.0 - "The protagonist complains too much, but he's interesting."]

Satya didn't see it, but he felt it. Something bigger than just the System was watching him. And he had just given them all the middle finger.