Chapter 2 it's a balancing act

If you spend all your days feeling nothing just acting like you're happy, acting like you're this open book. But actually you just don't care what people think because you don't care about anything. 

Hoping that someone will come along and make you feel something, anything. The only thing you feel is loneliness but you hate being around people. Crying every night feeling you are a monster and in the day not giving a shit. It's the moments of silence that get to you... 

 When you finally get that perfect person, you feel like your world makes sense for the first time in your life. It gives you the feeling that you are important to someone. Not because of blood but because they like the person you are. They care about the real you, not the one you show but the person underneath. 

And when you lose that person, you lose everything with it... Well, that's how it was for me.

Life is short if you look back at what you lost in life, you are not going to see what's in front of you. It took me a while to fully understand that. I always felt like there's more to life, like the dark things in this world that many have seen but no one wants to talk about because they're afraid of sounding crazy... 

I first realised that maybe there is more to life because if I can't do this, what else is there... 

I thought that it was pain that gave me these abilities but I was so wrong indeed. If only I had an idea of what was going to happen next, I would never have questioned my path. That's what we all do. We make everything so complicated but the fact is simple, life is all we need. We will truly be  happy once we realise that. 

I understand that now. We all want to change the world or be someone or something that stands out. We want to be special but on the other hand, we want to be liked. 

You can't have it both ways. I saw a lot of darkness in people in the next few years. A lot of stuff happened. 

But my life changed on the day that I saw the man in the woods. I know its sounds freaky and in a way it was but it felt crazy but peaceful. I could feel his pain but his good intention too. He taught me a lot about who I am. His gift was, he was drawn to people with abilities. He can feel what ability they have, how strong it is, and how to control it. 

 Before I met him I had the abilities for a few years. 

I was a monster but we all are the monsters in someone's life. 

We all heard there is no such thing as good or bad people, it's just people living their lives. That's one of the biggest mistakes I believe some people make, by believing a person is either good or he is bad. Pain can make a lot of people do crazy shit. It also changes people. A person becomes a bad person or a good person because it is the choices you make in life that in the end, molds you into either one of the two. Being a good person is hard because you have to make the hard choices that aren't always easy and avoid bad temptations. Becoming a bad person starts by the wrong choices you made because the right choices were too hard and giving into bad temptations because they seem fun and the easiest way out of a hard situation.

Malano was caught between two worlds either good or bad. With no idea why he feels like there is a battle being fought inside of him between good and bad. A battle that will determine what he becomes, will he be a monster or will he stand up and be a kind man. What makes it hard is the confusion of not knowing his own reality, feeling like someone is taking over. Not remembering some of the things he did. Is a demon taking over or is he becoming a demon? If it's the latter... can he control the chaos?

TO BE CONTINUED