Survival Shenanigans With Elf Mistress

Chapter 4 Microwave Menu

I nutted up and decided to carry out exploration during my last moments. Switching on my phone again, I turned on the flashlight and found a side entrance in the cave wall.

It led to a dead end, which gave this detour a room-like structure. At the far end was something interesting. I ran into what was my most significant discovery since I started the game—a clay furnace.

It was cold and hadn't been used for years, probably, but my mind raced. Could the green herbs I found in the cave be made edible as potions after brewing them? Hmm. Trying wouldn't hurt, since I was dying anyway.

I collected wood and twigs as fuel and lit the fire. As smoke stung my eyes like onion gas, something extraordinary happened.

Boop! A holographic menu popped up over the furnace. Yes! Finally! A gaming interface!

There were four sections—CRAFT, ENHANCE, KITCHEN, and RECYCLE. In the CRAFT section, there was an exhaustive catalogue of simple weapons, tools, and utilities. In DISMANTLE, I could break down complex substances into raw materials.

ENHANCE would let me boost the attributes of existing items. In contrast, KITCHEN, as suggested, would let me cook recipes using available ingredients.

It was a game-changer indeed. First things first. I crushed the green herbs in a clay bowl filled with water, opened KITCHEN, and placed it over the furnace. Among the various cooking options available, I selected BOIL.

Bloop! Within a few seconds, the mixture turned into a bright, homogeneous green liquid. After a moment's reluctance, I drank the potion. It was warm against my throat and tasted like ass, but almost instantly, my wounds began healing. I completely recovered by the time a few berries were consumed.

Yes! I immediately ran around the cave, collecting green herbs. Then I returned to the warm clay furnace. The inference I could draw was that my gaming interface popped up only when I was in front of a working furnace.

CRAFT was useless to me right now, as all the items were greyed out. However, DISMANTLE suggested trying out one of its entries.

[Fortify Entrance] [Req: Sand 10lbs, Silt 10lbs, Clay 10lbs]

If I were to stay safely in the cave tonight, fortification was indeed necessary. If rabid creatures like the skeletons simply walked in while I was asleep, my life would be forfeit.

I broke down a bunch of rocks and placed them beside the furnace with some soil I dug up. Hit and trial let me figure out that anything fed into the DISMANTLE section furnished raw material that was stored in cloud memory, no longer part of my physical inventory. It was like G****e Drive for adventurers.

After crushing rocks and digging soil, I had 25 pounds of sand, 25 pounds of silt, and 25 pounds of clay. It was enough to try the ENHANCE menu's suggestion.

I was about to select the option when my eyes caught the ones below.

[Fortify Entrance+] [Req: Sand 10lbs, Silt 10lbs, Clay 10lbs, Bone dust 10lbs]

[Fortify Entrance++] [Req: Sand 10lbs, Silt 10lbs, Clay 10lbs, Bone dust 10lbs, Goblin blood 10ml]

[Fortify Entrance+++] [Req: Sand 10lbs, Silt 10lbs, Clay 10lbs, Bone dust 10lbs, Goblin blood 10ml, Salamander mucus 10ml]

Hmm. The only extra ingredient I could procure was probably bone dust, which was easily achieved by dismantling the skeleton bones. Goblin blood and Salamander mucus were obviously not available.

I selected the second option once the ingredients were ready.

[Fortify Entrance+] [Successful] [Expiry: Sunrise]

Reassured that the night would be safe, I tried to enhance my rock knife.

[Enhance: Rock Knife Lvl 1] [Req: Sand 1lbs, Silt 1lbs, Clay 1lbs, Bone dust 1lbs]

[Rock Knife: Level up! 1<2]

It leveled up, becoming sharper and longer. Adding bone dust made it sleek, shiny, and more durable.

Now, it was time to craft a proper weapon—a sword. First, the furnace menu asked for iron ingots.

I built a pickaxe and began mining the ores in the cave. By evening, I had collected 169 samples of iron ore. I needed 500 iron ore to craft three iron ingots—the raw material to build a sword.

The progress on the sword was coming along nicely. However, before arming myself with advanced weaponry, armor, and a helmet was necessary.

What about ranged fighting? To build a bow and arrows, mulberry or oak wood, along with cotton, was required. I could not find those ingredients in the area.

I ended the day after crafting a shovel. Lying back in the cave, I stared at the entrance, through which a portion of the star-lit sky was visible. This world wasn't playing. Survival needed real physical labor.

I needed authentic gear—weapons, armor, tools. But where were the people in this world? Adventurers like me, or NPCs? I was dying to meet a woman, preferably before some creature eats me.

My eyes closed again without my awareness, only to open in the morning. I woke up with a boner, again having dreamt of a hot Elf.

I freshened up and got to work. Today, I collected enough ore to craft a basic iron helmet and a thin chestplate from ingots. "I'm looking like a shitty knight now," I concluded after putting on my newly crafted items.

In the afternoon, I switched on my phone and ventured deeper into the cave. The walls had ancient etchings everywhere. They were probably runes, which glowed faintly when touched.

I placed my hand on one of them for an extended period. A buzz surged through my body, and I was slammed with a vivid vision.

It looked like an ancient battle—an army of elves fighting against invaders completely covered in black armor. Fireballs exploded all around, swords clashed, and magic barriers shattered. Seriously, it was like a Michael Bay explosion fest, but in a medieval setting.

I was standing behind a dark-haired, tall, muscular elf carrying a gilded ax. She turned, as if noticing me in the vision itself. Our eyes met, and my heart leaped. I thought, "Damn, she's hot?" before the vision dissipated. "How about a drink?"

I pulled back immediately, gasping for breath. Crazy vision. It was already dark outside in the evening. I had been standing there with the runes for hours. My head spun, and I groaned, realizing only five percent of my phone's battery was left.

"What was that?" I asked myself on my way back. "Was it an excerpt from history and lore? Was this place a war-zone?"

I returned to my corner of the cave and got a fire going, munching on leftover berries. When will I get my hands on authentic food?

The berries had given less and less nutrition every day. I needed to figure out how to cook proper meals. Where were the edible animals, or the meaty vegetables? I erected another fortification at the entrance. I fell asleep shortly, expecting to open my eyes to the morning suns.

Screech! A spine-curdling cry woke me up with a start. My eyes raced to the cave entrance where a figure lay flat on the ground. It had funny, tapered ears and ugly warts with green skin. A goblin? But it looked like a rejected Shrek extra.

"Goblin ravagers!" The phrase came to me as if it already existed in my memory. Apparently, a goblin had tried to enter the cave, and the magical fortification had worked, immobilizing the creature. I had successfully built a bug zapper for fantasy pests!

I leaped into action, driving my rock knife into the goblin's brain. It died momentarily and squishily. However, as I turned towards the mouth of the cave, my heart sank in terror.

Hundreds of ravager eyes glowed in the dark, trying to barge in. The fortification had already begun to glitch, buckling under their bombardment. It was a matter of time before they broke in.

"Come on, you green-dicked bastards, bring it on!" I screamed, even though I was aware I was royally fucked.