"To fight him, you need to do the opposite. Doubt Adonis. Doubt his truth. Doubt his words. Doubt his affection. Doubt his power."Her hands went up to my cheeks, forcing me to look into her eyes and listen carefully. While staring intensely at my eyes, she said, "doubt Adonis, Jehova."My body fell silent as if I was petrified by her words. She kept trying to persuade me to rebel against Adonis.Everything she said sounded believable, but her "aggressive" methods made me feel a little bit hesitant to comply.However, despite her orders, there was one thing that distracted me for a while."J-Jehova? What do you mean by that?"She removed her hand from my face and took a few steps back from me. Still, in the same tone, she replied, "it's nothing, it's just a name I made for you.""A name?""Mhm, a name."I never thought about it.Name. I knew that "Adonis" was also a name. But I thought He deserved a name because He was different from me and the others.Adonis was one almighty figure.
I didn't want to lose track of him, so I tried to chase after him with everything I had. I believed that he was different from everyone. He was someone who could save me from this loneliness!I immediately got out of the place where we used to worship Adonis before. I turned my head left and right to look for him, and finally, I found him running into the crowd.I had to hurry. He could be the answer to all the questions swirling in my head. I hastily chased after him in the crowd.But because I was too focused on him, I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings. As a result, I suddenly bumped into someone.I fell, but the person that I bumped into didn't. He just looked at me for a while and continued his journey back. I didn't really mind the pain, because right now my priority was chasing him.But then, he was no longer to be found.After I stood back up to look for his whereabouts, I no longer saw his figure. Maybe he blended into the crowd to hide from me.I didn't remember it
I couldn't take my eyes off my reflection. It was the first and the only time I saw what my face and body looked like in person.A pair of eyes and a pair of ears were attached to my face.The absence of a mouth seemed to explain the way our species communicated.A short hair was spread on my half-wet head. Every part of my face and my body was bleached in white.No more mistakes. I and everyone here, belong to the same species.I continued my steps and looked around. I have to be extremely careful due to how crowded this place was. There was hardly any space that was not occupied by them—both above and below. Be careless for a second, I might bump into someone’s body.I had already decided what I should do next, to gather information. Unfortunately, the information must have either come from my observation or someone's explanation. The first option was not possible due to how crowded this place was, and neither was the first option. I was already skeptical that I would get any answe
After my mind was recovered, I immediately got up and decided to continue exploring this cave.I can't say that I've been able to forget that incident completely. The guilt and fear still haunted me.I couldn't deny that I was a selfish coward who only thought about myself. I wanted to be safe, I wanted to be able to leave that place unharmed. My survival instinct overwhelmed any remaining empathy within me.All sorts of wild guesses that came to my mind were quietly eating away at my sanity one after another. It felt like my mind was poisoning myself.However, I couldn't stop here.It was too late to turn back, and the only option was to keep moving forward. From the first time I decided to leave, I should have realized that there wouldn't be any way to turn back.That was what made me finally decide to continue my journey.By now, I was quite far from the cave entrance. Since the light source was too far from here, it was completely pitch black inside this cave.With that, I decided
“Where am I now?”That question kept echoing in my head.This horrific sight was something I never thought I'd see after so much pain I’ve been enduring, just to get up here.Watching this horror, my hope of seeing a new, bigger, and more beautiful world was shattered instantly. Even if I found the most beautiful place I could imagine, I would not be able to shake off my fear of this terror that lay before me.In short, this horror would be etched in my memory forever.But of course, I couldn't just stay there. To distract myself from that terror, I tried to gather my motivation back.Right, I still didn't know where the light up there came from. I still believe that I could find the place that I was aching to look for, if I continued my journey, following that trace of light.I didn't know if I tried too hard to push myself or not. But I knew that I was trying my very best just to forget the nightmare-like sight I have just seen.With that, I turned my face away, refusing to accept
All this time, I had been huddled alone in this damp, cramped, dark prison.This place didn’t even deserve to be called a prison. The 'prison' that surrounded me, is no less than a shabby eggshell that could only fit me inside.Therefore, it never occurred to me that one day, I would be released from the prison that had confined me from the outside world since the very beginning of my life.It was weird.This place had never changed before, even though time seemed to have passed by forever. Inside this “prison”, I didn't feel conscious, nor that I was fully aware either.It was as if this prison was forcing me to stay asleep, constantly dreaming in a deep long slumber without any need to be sentient.Then, slowly but surely, the layer of the shell that had been preventing me from being free began to crumble. I couldn't hear it clearly, but I could feel the cracking sound slowly starting to crawl, finding its way to my ears.As the crack grew bigger, the light that had been halted for