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Chapter 5: Haunt and Inspire
last update2025-08-11 21:41:51

Chapter 5: Haunt and Inspire

Theo had hoped, foolishly, that “ghost that thinks it’s a motivational speaker” would be some kind of easy, harmless gig.

He was wrong.

Very, very wrong.

The haunting was in Cubicle Annex 12—a grim, forgotten corner of Bureau HQ where old files and failed employees went to gather dust. The ghost had moved in two weeks ago, and since then, productivity had dropped by 43%.

“That’s because,” Vespera explained as they walked in, “no one can get any work done when there’s a disembodied voice yelling, ‘YOU ARE CAPABLE OF GREATNESS!’ at them every three minutes.”

Theo shrugged. “Doesn’t sound that bad. I mean, I could use a little pep talk.”

Vespera smirked. “You’ll see.”

First Contact

They stepped into Annex 12 and immediately heard it:

“GOOD MORNING, CHAMPIONS OF DESTINY! WHO’S READY TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES?”

Papers flew off desks. Staplers rattled. An intern in the corner quietly wept into their coffee.

A shimmering figure appeared above the filing cabinets—a man in a cheap suit, with the wide-eyed intensity of someone who once read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and never recovered.

“I AM GERALD GLEAM,” the ghost boomed, “AND I BELIEVE IN YOUR POTENTIAL!”

Theo waved awkwardly. “Uh, hi Gerald. I’m Theo. We’re from the—”

“THE BUREAU OF LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES!” Gerald interrupted. “WHERE FAILURE IS JUST SUCCESS WEARING A DISGUISE!”

Theo glanced at Vespera. “Does he have an off switch?”

“Not yet,” she muttered. “But we’re working on it.”

The Problem

Gerald’s pep talks weren’t normal. Every time he yelled something motivational, random magic surged through the room.

When he shouted, “YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!”, a desk sprouted legs and ran away.

When he yelled, “REACH FOR THE STARS!”, ceiling tiles fell, revealing actual stars in the void above.

When he declared, “FAILURE IS FUEL!”, someone’s lunch exploded into flames.

Theo ducked as a flying stapler zipped past his ear. “Okay, yeah. I see the problem.”

The Plan

Brie floated in beside them. “Ghosts like this draw power from unfinished business. Figure out what he didn’t accomplish in life, and you can convince him to move on.”

Gerald boomed, “I WAS SUPPOSED TO HOST THE WORLD’S LARGEST MOTIVATIONAL SEMINAR! BUT THE VENUE DOUBLE-BOOKED ME WITH A CAT SHOW!”

Theo frowned. “So you’re stuck here because you… didn’t get to give one speech?”

Gerald’s eyes blazed. “NOT ONE SPEECH. THE SPEECH!”

Vespera crossed her arms. “Fine. We’ll give him his audience.”

The Seminar

Ten minutes later, Annex 12 was rearranged into an impromptu conference room. The audience consisted of Theo, Vespera, Steve the goblin intern, Mothman Gary (working on a crossword), and two confused janitors.

Gerald floated to the front, adjusting a ghostly tie. “WELCOME, DREAMERS!”

As he launched into his speech, Theo noticed something strange—Gerald’s form flickered less the more people nodded and clapped.

But then he started shouting too loudly. The magic spiked again. Steve’s clipboard turned into a sword. Gary’s crossword flew away like a paper bird.

Theo jumped up. “Gerald! I think you’ve said enough!”

“NEVER!” Gerald roared. “YOU ARE LIMITLESS!”

The room shook. Filing cabinets danced. A motivational poster on the wall grew arms and started hugging people against their will.

Ending the Haunting

Theo, thinking fast, pulled out his Bureau-issued megaphone.

“GERALD!” he shouted, matching the ghost’s volume. “YOU’RE ALREADY A SUCCESS!”

The ghost froze. “What?”

“You don’t need to give this seminar. Look around—people will remember you for what you’ve already done!” Theo lied. “You’ve… inspired me.”

Gerald’s ghostly eyes filled with tears. “You mean it?”

Theo nodded. “Absolutely.”

Gerald beamed. “Then my work here is done.”

With a final thumbs-up, he dissolved into a glittery mist that smelled faintly of coffee and ambition.

Aftermath

Annex 12 returned to its usual depressing silence. Vespera gave Theo a small nod. “Not bad, rookie.”

Theo grinned. “So… what’s next?”

Brie floated over. “A cursed vending machine that’s been spitting out eldritch snacks.”

Theo groaned. “I should’ve stayed with the ghost.”

End of Chapter 5

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