You're So Old Jokes

Bang! The door was kicked open from the outside and three policemen came in holding guns. “What's happening?” Bruce had never been so confused in his entire life. The police ignored his question as they walked towards him, pointing the guns straight at him as one of them said “Don't try to do anything funny Mr Bruce Ortiz, do not move an inch.” “Hey I don't know what I did, what did I do?” Bruce looked around as though he could see an explanation of this written on the wall somewhere. “Mr Bruce Ortiz, you're under arrest for the theft of $750,000!” “What!” Bruce's eyes opened in shock “What the hell are y'all talking about? I've never stolen anybody's money in my life.”

Maximus Crownguard hails from an unknown origin shrouded in mystery, known to be of humble beginnings as the son-in-law of a second-rate family. "Ma, where is Alexa?" he asked as he walked into the living room. The woman glared at Max and replied sharply, "Where else do you think my daughter would go other than work?" ------ Feeling a strange sense of foreboding, he nervously opened the message, but all it said was, "[Help]." He looked at his mother-in-law and coldly said, "Ma, where is Alexa?" as he exuded a deadly aura. The old woman didn't know why she felt a sense of danger when she saw the cold look in Maximus' eyes, so she blurted out without realizing, "She's at Chable Star Entertainment, she signed a contract with Mr. Chen." ------ "Who are you?!" Mr. Chen screamed in fear. The man turned and walked slowly towards Mr. Chen, saying, "It doesn't matter who I am. What matters is I will end your evil deeds." Mr. Chen's eyes widened as he saw the man's cold face and felt as if he was facing the God of Death. Suddenly, he felt excruciating pain in his right hand, realizing the man had crushed it. ------ "No problem, Mr. Crownguard. But which company are you planning to acquire?" the man inquired again. With a joyous smile, Max replied smoothly, "I want to acquire Chable Star Entertainment."

"Ma, Samson promises. Samson is going to repent; I won’t be a thug anymore. I'm going to find a real, honest job. So please, Ma, don't come back to haunt me, okay?" Samson knelt, tears streaming down his face, though his expression still looked like someone ready to pick a fight with the Angel of Death. Bejo held out an umbrella. "Boss, it’s almost sunset. We need to go collect the 'protection money' from the cafe owner," he said. "Hey, Bejo! I just promised Ma that I’ve repented. You little devil! Do you want my mother to rise from her grave because of what you just said, huh?!" Samson stood up. His towering height, nearly two meters, made Bejo instinctively jump back three steps. "But Boss, our stomachs aren't exactly followers of the repentance movement," Bejo squeaked, trembling. Samson wiped his fierce face. "From this second on, call me Samson the Protector. I’m going to find honest work. Anything! As long as I'm not shaking people down anymore." A wealthy woman looked Samson up and down, scrutinizing him. "Your body is quite large. It just so happens I need a new guard dog. I just fired the old one because he was afraid of cockroaches." Samson was ready to explode. "Hey, lady! You think I—" "Fifty million a month. Meals are provided, and you get an Italian suit for a uniform. Interested?" the woman interrupted, handing him a gold-plated business card. Samson fell silent. He then whispered under his breath, "Ma, this is honest work, right? Just being a guard dog for a billionaire."

Jamie Aldridge never asked for this. He never asked for the system, for the power, for the missions that drag him deeper into Seattle’s underworld. But when life throws a digital demon into your head, what choice do you have? Play the game or get played. Simple. Except it’s not that simple. Because this game? It’s rigged. And the stakes? Well, they’re higher than Jamie could ever imagine. "Who the hell are you?" Jamie demanded, his voice rough with exhaustion, and his mind a tangled mess of fear and fury. The Broker smiled, a thin, calculated curve of lips that held no warmth. "I'm the man who’s going to change your life, Jamie. Or end it. Depends on how well you play." "Play?" Jamie spat, barely holding back the urge to punch that smug look off his face. "I’m not playing your game. Not anymore." The Broker’s eyes shone with a dark and knowing aura. "Oh, but you are. You just don’t realize it yet." Now Jamie’s on a collision course with forces beyond his control—shadowy figures who pull the strings, secrets buried so deep they might as well be myths, and a system that seems determined to push him to the brink. And just when he thinks he can’t take any more, life throws him another curveball: Emma. His unbearable bully of a wife. Pregnant. Yeah. Ain't gonna end well. In a world where survival is a day-to-day battle and the lines between ally and enemy blur with every step, Jamie has to figure out one thing—how to win when every move feels like a losing one. Because failure? It’s not an option. Not when his life, and the life of his unborn child, hangs in the balance.

Alex blinked slowly. His brain struggled to process the scene. Then his gaze shifted to the man, the one proposing. Daniel Foster. The so-called cousin. Alex let out a quiet breath. “What the hell…” His voice wasn’t loud, but Lily heard it. Her head snapped toward him. For a brief moment her face froze. Then her expression turned cold. “Alex?” The crowd also noticed him. Students began whispering. “Who is that?” “Wait… I think I know him.” Alex walked forward a step. His eyes moved between Lily and Daniel, still trying to process what he was seeing. “Your cousin?” he asked slowly. “So… cousins propose with rings now?” Daniel frowned slightly. Lily’s face immediately darkened. “What are you doing here?” she snapped. Alex stared at her in shock. “You don't remember? I just got out today.” Her brows furrowed. “You shouldn’t be here.” Alex tilted his head and he scoffed loudly in disbelief. “Why not?” “Because you belong in prison,” Lily said looking irritated. The words hit him like a slap as he took a step back. The crowd gasped. Alex stared at her silently. “Prison?” he repeated quietly. “Yes.” Lily crossed her arms. “You’re a murderer, Alex. And murderers belong in prison.” The crowd erupted in whispers. “Murderer?” “Wait… I remember now!” “That’s him!” A girl pointed at Alex. “He’s the student who killed someone in a car accident three years ago!” Another student laughed. “Holy shit it really is him!” “So he’s out already?” “Why is he back here?” More people started whispering and pointing. Alex could hear everything clearly as he clenched and unclenched his fist. But his eyes never left Lily.

Jackson found no words to respond; he remained silent, holding the divorce papers. He felt numb, detached from the world around him. His wife's words and actions had left him shattered, unable to believe that their relationship had abruptly ended with no chance for reconciliation. As he stared at the divorce papers thrown in his face, he felt a sense of finality and loss engulfing him. He could only blame himself for everything that had happened – if he had been honest with his wife about his situation, perhaps things would have taken a different turn. Walking down the street lost in his thoughts, he heard his phone ring. Initially, he didn't want to answer; he wasn't in the mood to receive more bad news. But something in his gut told him to take the call. "Hello?" he answered reluctantly. "Young sir! Your grandfather informed me to contact you. 100,000,000 has been deposited into your account, and tomorrow your exile period will end. You'll regain control of your company, and the family is coming to welcome you back," the voice on the other end explained. Checking his phone, he indeed saw the deposited amount. Everything was falling back into place. Jackson replied hesitantly, "Tomorrow, I'll turn twenty-five." His mind returned to his old life in the palace and prestigious companies, where he was a rising star before being suddenly banished. He had always wondered when he would return. The voice from the phone continued, "Young sir! Your exile period has ended, and your companies are ready to welcome you back with open arms. We need you, Jackson – you are the heir to our companies, and we cannot do without you."

Neglected and despised by his extended family, his father died when he was only 10 years old, his mother lay in hospital and needed surgery, Lein lived a life of extreme misery. He is willing to do anything to cure his mother. Kneel and prostrate? Kiss your feet? Lick your shoes? He will do anything! However, no one bothered to help him, until a notification from the system appeared in his vision. [Congratulations! You are the luckiest human among billions of humans in this world! Be the true ruler of this minuscule world!] [3...2...1...] [System is adjusted according to Host's needs and wishes. Analysis begins!] [4...3...2...1...Analysis complete!] [System starts!] Follow Lein's journey to reach the pinnacle of life! "Look! Everything is finally under the control of my feet!" Season 1: Chapter 1 - Chapter 167 Season 2: On-going I own the copyright to the cover.

Two centuries after the Echo Collapse tore reality apart, fractured versions of people Echoes walk the earth, each a distorted reflection of who they once were. Memories can be stolen, rewritten, or weaponized. In the city of Korr Vale, survival depends on knowing which version of someone you’re dealing with… and whether it’s even really them. Dren Auren is one of the rare few born with the ability to resist full Echo corruption though it comes at a cost. Haunted by unstable flashes of lives he never lived, he works as a rogue operative, hunting dangerous Echoes for the highest bidder. But when a failed mission draws the attention of Echo Prime, a godlike Echo claiming to be Dren’s own future self, his life fractures beyond repair. Echo Prime’s plan is simple: fuse every version of Dren across the timelines into a single, “perfect” being. The process will annihilate all other selves including the Dren who stands in his way. Dren’s only hope is Veyna, a resourceful fighter with secrets of her own secrets that tie her fate to his in ways neither of them understand. Together, they must navigate a city riddled with political betrayals, memory storms, and Echo-controlled territories, racing toward the Breach the tear in reality where the war began. But the closer they get, the more Dren begins to question who the real enemy is. Is Echo Prime just another fractured soul fighting for survival… or is he the only version of Dren willing to do what’s necessary to save them all? In a world where identity can be stolen and love may not belong to the person you think, The Echo War asks one question: If you could destroy every version of yourself except one… would you?

The world will experience destruction. Izaki, a young man who returned from the battlefield suddenly found himself sucked into a black hole that appeared right behind him. Izaki has now come to another world, where the world is controlled by what are called Hunters. Hunter, is a profession that someone takes to loot and kill monsters through a portal that appears in every area. Every hunter must have the so-called power blessing. The blessing itself comes from the resurrection crystal and it will always be given by the city government when it is six or seven years old. Izaki came to another world at exactly 22 years old, so he didn't have a resurrection at all. That's exactly when his system appeared. [The Mission System is successfully integrated with the Host.] [First Mission begins.] [Enter Grade A Dungeon.] That way, Izaki's journey begins by entering a high-level Dungeon. thank you and this is my first novel

"What do you think you're doing Harvey? How dare you walk into my room without knocking?!" Gracia angrily exclaimed as she got up from the bed while covering her half naked body with a sexy red lingerie, something she never wore in the presence of Harvey, her husband. Harvey's fist tightened, his knuckles white with tension as his teeth grounded against each other. This moment epitomized utter disrespect, and he will not tolerate it. "How could you do this Gracia?!" Harvey yelled. "Who's this young man, how dare he interrupt our moment?" The man she was making out with said,glaring disgustingly at Harvey as he got up from the bed, wearing only a boxer and wrapping his arms around Gracia's waist. *********** On the night of his wedding anniversary, Harvey was made to sleep at the stables as the affluent guests couldn't stand the thought of spending the same abode with him. Despite this, he woke up early to make breakfast for the same people who humiliated him only to find his wife making out with another man on their matrimonial bed! When he retaliated, she threw divorce papers at him and sacked his betrayed self out of her mansion. May the Lord bless the day he broke free from the Andersons. His life took a graceful turn when it was revealed to him that he’s the biological son of the most talked about mogul in the city! Now that he has not only money but power, he swears on his mother's grave to make all those who looked down on him, wipe the very dirt on his shoes with their tongues!