Not you ma, I love your daughter!

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Not you ma, I love your daughter!

By: Zuxian CompletedUrban/Realistic

Language: English

Chapters: 91 views: 14.3K

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Dare, A Nigerian whose educational and normal life was a mess, a poor fellow, with a sick mother, met a Billionaire online. He couldn't chat with her because he was a reserved person and the billionaire wanted him to reveal his dick pic. He shared his login details of the dating app with his friend who was open and carefree. But the friend betrayed him. Instead of working for him as they had agreed, his best friend stole the opportunity and traveled out of the country to meet the billionaire. Dare has a rich uncle who hasn't be there for his mother and him. But the uncle out of the blue showed up to help him. Dare thought of that as an opportunity to fly out of his country to search for the betrayer. He left for California with the aim of going to the Billionaire's house and ratting his friend out. But seeing the woman's daughter he fell for . Love at first sight.  So, his motive changed. The Billionaire woman, getting to know the true nature of his friend kicked the friend out and took him, Dare, in. But Dare doesn't really like the woman, he only wanted to stay with her because of her daughter. But the daughter doesn't like him, because she thought he was a gold digger who wanted to take his mother's properties. Now, he needs to devise a plan... A plan to convince the daughter, come clean with the mother and marry the daughter. His one month intention of staying in California is now prolonged. The fear of his mother about to come to pass.Disclaimer: This is no racist, sexiest or AROUSAL OF ANY SORT OF UPRISING. The work is based on true events and looks to deliver it with humor and reality.


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91 chapters
The giant Rat
Several months ago "SQUEAK. SQUEAK."That was the evil rat again. I don't need to be told. My eyelids shook firstly, and reluctantly before they paved way for my deep brown pupils.The squeak of the rat came again. Not from under my cupboard, nor in the midst of the sacs where I put my clothes. But close to my ears. The chattering and hissing were like a devilish hymn.Now you know why I call the rat evil. At least, some rats I've known, have some reason of responsibility, reasoning and belonging. They know their places. But this blackish brown huge rat in my single room had no fear of God, let alone a fear of me.Or isn't it obvious? If he does fear me, would it be close to my ears making such wierd noise? You know, a way to look at it is that, the rat is the natural alarm which I don't have to pay for. Because it does wake me every morning. Which had plunged me into a dilemma, whether to be grateful to it or seek its downfall. Becau
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The Hell?
At the hospital."Are you Dare?"The chubby nurse dressed in the normal nurse gown, but blue instead of white, asked in my native tongue."Yes."I replied, trying to read her intentions through her expression. I couldn't get enough. I waited for her to speak on. She did."She's in ward five. I don't think we will be able to take care of her for now, the doctor won't work else you've --""You ain't the doctor, Tola. Let him go to the ward."The other nurse next to the one called Tola interrupted. The chubby Tola reluctantly looked away from me giving me some silly signals. I shook my head in disbelief and walked off.I hurried towards the ward, seeing several patients lining the passage or say aisle between the walls of wards. I shook my head in displeasure.I caught the sight of a man who had mucus drooping from his nose. A thick mucus which endlessly drooped. There was an eight years old girl seated next to him. I could
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The Obvious
At home."I seriously don't know what reply to give to her. Isn't it wierd that a guy me like is a virgin, and if Iya Dare hears about it, Jesu ma sokale."I said to Kola who was seated next to me on a wooden bench at the front of my FACE ME I SLAP YOU. This type of house is typical of buildings in trafficked places in my country. It's built thus; a long lone house which has several rooms facing each other and are divided by a passage. The Landlord (owner) might build twelves rooms, six on the right and six on the left, divided by a passage.Everyone who lives in that house share the same toilet and bathroom and kitchen. And there are a whole of mess going on. Backbiting and treachery and witchery and hatred and jealousy. For the sake of fuck, how could you be jealous of someone living in such a place?But don't be surprised, even my best friend, Kola, had wronged me many times but I've forgiven me. He had snatched a lot of my opportunities but as a good
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Kola Adefarasin."Let's hope she's online."I stared at the inbox for a while. I've been thinking of what to do or what to say to keep the woman. But I've finally come to a conclusion. I wouldn't be outwitted, neither would I ruin it."DO YOU HAVE A BIG COCK?! I HEARD THAT MOST OF Y'ALL AFRICANS DO."I read out the message again. I've locked the door to my house. I'm living in a room self-contain. Unlike Dare's apartment, I have my own kitchen, toilet and bathroom. I do not have to share with anyone. Yet, who wouldn't grab another opportunity of becoming great?!DO YOU WANT TO SEE PICTURES?I replied, and almost immediately, I saw the three ellipses which signifies that someone is typing."Omoo"[Damn]I muttered in my native tongue. I picked up the bottle of Pepsi and drank from it. I have a bed and its rails. I have rug spread across the floor of my room and the walls are well painted. I have a TV set and several other
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Few weeks later. Dare."Stick around for a while then in two hours time, close for the day."My boss addressed, on his laps was the secretary I already told you about. At first, he had known too well to hide it from us, but now, he had brought his adultery to work. Even though he already had two kids and wife. Kids who were not doing fine financially. I have no idea why someone could be so inconsequential to give what would sustain his family to a side chick. Pleasing a sidekick at the detriment of his own family. How dumb."Do you want to join us?"He nudged me back into reality. Oops. Why was I still standing there?"Sorry. I'll go now."I turned and walked towards the door."Goodbye, Dare."I heard the secretary call. I didn't want to turn to her but twould be nothing but an insult since she was the mistress of my boss.I turned to her and nodded, but then she winked seductively at me. I turned away immediately and wa
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New turn
Ojuwoye, Mushin."You've grown to be a tough man, Dare."My coconut head uncle started. He was dressed in white Agbada, costly black shoes, a traditional cap, and lots of 24 carat gold chains drooping from his neck as though he was some mannequin. You know, it's pretty annoying when you have a lot of money but are dumb enough not to know what to do with it or how to WISELY spend it.He was tall and lanky. He had this threatening aura, and his deep brown eyes enflamed his beardy face. He's 6"0, thick neck and long hands, wide palms. Enough of his annoying qualities."Hmm."I made a deep threatening sound in my throttle but then my mom sent a warning signal with her well trained eyes. Wonder! African parents, especially Nigerians are so well skilled in working magic with their eyes and stares.Just one stern stare at your child and he already would be crawling at your feet.I got the message she was trying to put across but it seemed to
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Going Rogue...
    At the beach   ~Dare Ofegu~"I want to do a lot of crazy things, Lara."I said, looking at the endless water ahead of us. I could see the waves lapping and crashing, the hankering horizon with crazed connection with the clouds, an inexplicable natural advances. I've never heard the call of the seagulls as seen in the movies. Well, that isn't actually my headache at the moment. I took a glance at her, her eyes pacing my face. I have no idea what she was thinking. But I knew she would be wondering why I had brought her to the beach for the first time. Which she didn't know would be the last. You know, it's somewhat a juvenile knack here that when you visit the beach with a lady, you have a nasty thought. For example, when you take a lady to a hotel or brothel, what other explanation is there to make?But even I don't know my stance at that moment. There are a lot of assorted thoughts struggling to dominate
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The intended...
   At Work. "Ekaaro, ma."[Morning, ma.]I called out to the kiosk's owner who had just showered her pleasantries. I'm not really sure how old she was but she looked fifty. She was always the first person to say a hello to me. Even when I'm absentminded, she would keep the pleasantries up till I respond. Somehow, her kind gestures remind me of Lara. She must have been like Lara when she was young. A lady who doesn't really put much worth in self respect. I hurried towards the building which housed our offices, walking through the large undeveloped and uninhibited compound. I caught the sight of the tree under which I sat the other day to read the ugly news. I'm sure that there would be no one at work because it's just 7:10am. The resumption hour was 8:00am, and many do arrive 8:30am and even up to 10:00. But both those who resumed 8:00 and 10:00am would write 8:00am and no saint has the guts to rat them out, else you wou
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The duel
     Lekki.    ~Dare Ofegu~"What are you going to California for? You won't put your mother in the darkness of it all, would you?"I had tried to avoid her gaze in the first place but there is no use anymore. She wasn't the type to be beaten so easily. I knew my mother too well, she wouldn't stop until she had gotten to the root of the matter, believe me. Or better still, you can see for yourself. "We already had this discussion, mom. I got an offer to work with a company over there. You know that I write poetry, so one of the companies in California read one of my poems on and wanted to meet me in person. I have been postponing it but now that uncle is ready to help, why should I let the opportunity slip off my palms?"I quit talking but the stare she was wearing said it all. She was not ready to give in, I could bet on my life. Then she said,"I had a dream."I stood up at once and
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    Airport. ~Dare Ofegu~"I don't want you to go, yet I can't stop you."Lara remonstrated, her right arm tucked in my left. We were brushing sides and standing in the broad gleaming hallway of the Nnamdi Azikwe International airport. "I can't help it too. I must go find that traitor and ask him why he had done that to me after the trust. I even told him that I was giving him the last chance and that if he betray me again, twould be the end of our friendship."I explained, untucking my arm as I wounded it around her waist instead. She took a peek at me, I could see surprise splattered on her face. "You can't just expect a lion to stop being a lion because you rescued it and make it live in your house. One day, the killer instinct which defines its being would always flare up."She looked away. I scoffed,"Kola is no lion. He's but a hyena. A very funny creature which hardly works but always want to
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