"Seriously, my window?" Felix yelled, waving his hands frantically. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a landlord to fix anything in this neighborhood? I literally just moved in thirty minutes ago!""Silence, demon!" Serena shouted, brandishing her glowing daggers. "Do not try to deceive me with your domestic lies! I saw the purple light of the abyss! I saw the crimson blood ritual!""Crimson blood ritual? Lady, that was rusty water from a ninety-nine-cent valve! Look at my shirt! I smell like a bucket of old nails!""A likely story!" Serena declared, her eyes flashing with righteous determination. "Your dark soul ends here!""Wait, wait, don't jump! The floor is—""Hyaaa—whoa! Oh crap!"Serena’s boot hit the slick, soapy puddle of rusty water. Her leg shot forward like she was on ice."Ahhh!" she shrieked, her arms flailing wild, desperate circles in the air."I told you!" Felix cried, lunging forward. "Hold on, don't hit the radiator!""Stay back, foul beast!" Serena scream

"Felix, wait!" Serena hissed, her voice a tense whisper as she gripped her wet towel. "Do not open that portal! The dark vibrations... they are suffocating. It is an executioner of the underworld!""It's just my landlord, Serena," Felix said, walking past her. "And he's not an executioner. He's just a seventy-year-old guy who refuses to update the building's boiler.""That is his mortal guise!" Serena pleaded, stumbling after him, her wet boots squeaking on the hardwood. "I can smell the sulfur from here! He is a high-ranking Archdemon!""That's just his cheap cologne and stale cigar smoke," Felix muttered, turning the brass doorknob. "Trust me, I deal with guys like him all the time."Felix yanked the door open.Standing in the dimly lit hallway was a hulking, broad-shouldered man stuffed into a cheap, double-breasted polyester suit. His skin had a bizarre, ash-gray tint, his hairline was a terrible, desperate combover that failed to hide two distinct, bony ridges on his forehead, an

The steam from the ramen bowl swirled in the cramped room, carrying with it a scent so warm and inviting that Serena felt her resolve fraying at the edges. She watched Felix move with a casual grace, his movements unburdened by the weight of malice she had spent her life learning to fear."Here you go," Felix said, turning around with a tray. He placed two steaming mugs of chamomile tea down and a small ceramic plate piled high with golden-brown cookies. "Sorry it’s not exactly gourmet, but I figured you could use something sweet after that whole incident with the pipes."Serena stared at the plate. The cookies were thick, studded with semi-melted pools of dark chocolate, and still warm enough to make the air around them shimmer."You baked these?" she asked, her voice tight."Yeah, took a tray out right before the ceiling started leaking," Felix said, pulling up a wooden stool. "I’m a bit of a stress-baker. It helps me focus when I’m dealing with... well, everything."Stress-baking,

"Seriously, Serena, how am I supposed to sleep when my entryway looks like a construction zone?" Felix groaned, leaning heavily on the wooden handle of his broom as he pushed a small pile of white drywall dust toward the threshold. "I just wanted to sweep up this mess so we don't track plaster dust all over the carpet. Is that really too much to ask on a Tuesday night?"Serena, sitting cross-legged on the edge of the futon with her knees pulled tightly to her chest, stared at him with wide, unblinking green eyes. "You shouldn't let your guard down, Felix. The forces of the night are devious. They do not simply retreat because you ask them to. They are likely regrouping, calculating your spiritual pressure, and preparing a counter-offensive.""They're theater students in matching leather jackets, Serena," Felix said, let out a long, exhausted sigh. "The only thing they're calculating is how much they spent on hair gel. Besides, they ruined my welcome mat. That was a housewarming gift f

The door chime of the Crimson Bean didn't just ring; it seemed to resonate with a low, thrumming hum that made Felix’s teeth ache. As he stepped over the threshold, a man emerged from the shadows of the back office. He wasn't the barista. He was a tall, angular man in a charcoal suit that looked like it had been tailored for an undertaker, his gaze sharp enough to peel paint.This was Inquisitor Vance, the Hunter Guild’s premier interrogator. He didn't look at the coffee menu. He looked directly at Felix’s jugular."Serena," Vance said, his voice a cold, smooth rasp. "You’re late. And you’ve brought a guest."Felix wiped his thumb on his jeans, oblivious to the fact that the man in front of him was currently cataloging the most efficient way to disassemble a human skeleton. "Oh, hey. Sorry for the intrusion. I’m just walking my roommate to her shift. And, man, you guys really need to look at your front lighting. It’s flickering like a horror movie set, and the awning is absolutely cov