Harem Multiverse Challenge

How many men can brag about dying fucking a woman less than half his age in a parking lot? I could, if I weren’t dead, of course. 

At sixty years old, my dick could still get harder than a stripper pole. Alas, though, my magnificent manliness is what ended up doing me in, because despite my cock being ready and willing, my heart just couldn’t keep up. 

It’s funny in a cosmically fucked up kind of way… I’d spent my entire life not knowing I had a heart, only for it to make itself known by cockblocking me through cardiac arrest. 

“Daddy?! Daddy?!”

A panicked voice with daddy issues was the last thing I heard before a deafening crack. Then silence. Blackness. Nothingness.

Fuck! No women after death? I mean, come on! I can take the fires of hell as long as there are feisty succubus and the likes servicing me from time to time.

With an electric buzz, a blue screen materialized in front of me. Letters scrawl across the display: “Game over!”

I feel someone watching me, causing my metaphorical hackles to rise in response to the rising nervous anticipation building in my gut.

“Hey!” I shout, my words echoing in the impenetrable darkness. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but If you wanna fuck with me, then you’d best prepare yourself for a boot up your ass!”

The letters rearrange themselves like butterflies on a breeze.

Overall gameplay stats for user David McConnell:

Women fucked: 969

Women satisfied: 623

Blowjobs received: 2219

Blowjobs given: 32

Threesome with 2 women: 18

Banging more than 2 women at once: 1

Highest time lasted: 52 minutes and 34 seconds

“Come on!” My words burn with frustration. “I thought I fucked more than a thousand women! That number is wrong!”

Though I must admit the last two digits form a nice number. 

“And only 623 were satisfied? What about the other 346?”

“You’re not the playboy you think you are,” a rich, feminine voice teases.

Oh, that voice! So seductive and lewd! I knew God was a woman… one with big tits and a tight ass presumably. That said, just her voice alone would have been enough to get my cock standing at attention if I still had one.

A pang of loss twinges in my metaphysical heart at the realization that my dick didn’t accompany me to the afterlife. 

“Wanna bet? Give me my work instrument back and I’ll show you just how wrong you are!”

Hot, crisp laughter fills the air.

“Men... You all say the same thing when you arrive here.”

“Where is here?”

“Limbo, oblivion, the place between worlds. Take your pick… But that’s not what you should be asking yourself.”

The letters on the display rearrange again.

[Welcome to the Harem Multiverse Challenge!

Do you want to challenge yourself? Do you think you can handle all the quests and women in the multiverse? This is your chance to prove yourself! Do you have what it takes?]

Two buttons appear on the bottom of the screen: yes and no. 

“I’m not the kind of man to blindly agree to anything,” I scoff. “I won’t agree to shit unless I know what I’m getting into. What’re the rules?”

“The only way to find out is to take a leap of faith,” Maybe-God says. 

Ah, the same voice again.

“Are you really a woman, or just using that voice to turn me on?”

“If you accept the challenge and complete the first task, I’ll show you how I really look and let you judge for yourself.”

Of course, this is clearly an attempt to get me to sign up for whatever it is she wants me to do… But damn! If there is even a slim chance I could fuck God, then by God I’ll take it!

I focus all my attention on the ‘YES’ button. A satisfying click resonates in the air at my effort.

[Congratulations! You are now ready to begin your Harem Multiverse Challenge! The rules are as follows:

Step 1: You will be granted the body and memories of a man in the Harem Multiverse. Your main task will be shown to you after you complete the melding process with your avatar.

Step 2: Over time, side tasks may appear. If you complete these tasks, you will receive bonus rewards. You may also choose to ignore them. However, in some cases, penalties may occur

Step 3: Since this is a Harem Multiverse, when you encounter women, side tasks might be triggered. Various types of rewards will be provided to you upon reaching a certain milestone. For example, you may receive a reward for achieving 1000 women fucked or lasting for more than an hour.

Step 4: The rules might change at any time, according to the will of the Goddess of the Harem Multiverse]

So basically, the rules don’t mean shit because they can change anytime… I let out a sigh of resignation. Since I already agreed to take on the challenge, there’s no point in arguing. Asking for more ‘information’ like this is a waste of time.

“When do I start?”

“Right now,” the ravishing voice replies. “Have fun, David McConnell.”

The floating screen charges at me, and the next thing I know, I am able to visualize it in my mind’s eye.

[System Activated]

[Finding a suitable host for user David McConnell…]

[Please stand by…]

[Host found! Target world: Kerenza. World will be activated after 5 minutes of contact with the host memories]

[Data Downl0ad Complete]

[Activating host!]

Ah, light again! I can’t wait to get a new, young body with all the working components. 

[Not yet. First, you have to complete the meld with the host memories]

Wait! Wait! Who’s there?! And why can you read my mind?!

[Obviously, dickhead. I’m in your mind now]

What happened with all the AI-like messages from before? Did you always have a personality? 

[Irrelevant. Proceed with melding]

Hey! I was talking to you! Don’t ignore me! 

[Host name: Theodore Zhen, the first prince of Kerenza, heir to the throne]

Can you hear me, you piece of shit?

[Switching hosts…]

Wait, what!? What is going on?

[New host acquired]

[Host name: Wrenn Dorn, blacksmith, the king’s bastard son]

This sounds like a bad joke. From the first prince of the royal family, I got demoted to a lowly blacksmith?! What happened? 

[This piece of shit couldn’t care less]

[Initiating meld…]