TREVOR KING AND SYSTEM MISADVENTURES

Trevor King wasn’t exactly employee of the month material. Delivering pizzas was supposed to be easy—show up, smile, hand over the food, and hope for a tip. But tonight, as usual, things weren’t going according to plan.

“Apartment 3B,” Trevor muttered to himself, balancing the box of pepperoni and pineapple pizza on one hand while squinting at the building’s faded numbers. “Who orders pizza at 11 PM on a Tuesday?”

He knocked on the door. No answer. Knocked again. Still nothing.

“Seriously?” Trevor groaned, jabbing the doorbell repeatedly. The sound of muffled techno music leaked through the walls. “Come on, dude, I don’t have all night!”

Finally, Trevor gave up and pushed the door open—it wasn’t locked. Inside was a cluttered, dimly lit apartment. Empty energy drink cans, potato chip bags, and stacks of unopened mail covered every surface. But what really caught his attention was the glow of a laptop sitting on the coffee table.

The guy was sprawled out on the couch, snoring loudly, completely oblivious to Trevor’s presence.

“Well, this is awkward,” Trevor muttered, setting the pizza box down on the table. He glanced at the laptop, where some sort of game was running. The screen displayed a message in bold red text:

“Welcome to the Hero System™! Do you accept the challenge?”

Trevor rolled his eyes. “Nerds.” He left the pizza, scribbled a note—“Your food’s here. Tip your driver next time.”—and headed back to his beat-up moped.

But later that night, as he finally collapsed onto his couch and prepared to drown himself in bad reality TV, something felt... off. His delivery bag, which should’ve been empty, was heavier than usual.

“What the...?” Trevor reached inside and pulled out the laptop from earlier.

“How did—” Trevor froze, staring at the glowing screen. The game was still running, but the message had changed:

“Congratulations, Trevor King! You’ve been chosen as our next Hero! The journey begins now!”

“What? No, I didn’t—” Before he could finish the thought, the laptop screen erupted in a blinding flash of light.

---

Trevor woke up with his face in the dirt.

“Ugh... did I just pass out? Was the pizza poisoned?” he muttered, sitting up and brushing grass off his clothes. He wasn’t in his apartment anymore. Surrounding him were rolling green hills, a sky so blue it looked Photoshopped, and a faint smell of... bananas?

“What the heck is this?” Trevor said, blinking at the giant, floating text box in front of him:

“Welcome, Trevor King, to the Hero System™! Initializing Tutorial...”

A high-pitched voice chimed in behind him. “Oh, good, you’re awake! I was worried the teleportation might’ve fried your brain.”

Trevor spun around to see a small, pixelated cube hovering in midair. It had cartoonish eyes and a mouth that didn’t match the words it was saying.

“Uh, what are you?” Trevor asked, leaning away cautiously.

“I’m GL1TCH, your personal system guide!” the cube said cheerfully. “We’re gonna be best friends!”

“Yeah, no thanks,” Trevor said, standing up. “I’m not sure what this is, but I’ve got work tomorrow, so if you could just—”

Ding!

Another text box appeared in front of him:

First Quest: Defeat the Banana Bandit (0/1)

“Banana what now?” Trevor asked, frowning.

His question was answered by a loud screech. He turned just in time to see a monkey charging at him, waving a rusty sword.

“Oh, come on!” Trevor shouted, scrambling backward.

“Relax!” GL1TCH said. “It’s just a tutorial boss. You’ll be fine!”

Trevor dove to the side as the monkey swung its sword. “I don’t even have a weapon!”

“Check your inventory!” GL1TCH said helpfully.

“What inventory?” Trevor shouted, dodging another swing.

A glowing menu appeared in front of him:

Inventory:

A Stick

1 Expired Healing Potion

A Random Rock

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Trevor groaned, grabbing the stick.

The monkey screeched again and lunged. Trevor swung the stick wildly, closing his eyes. To his surprise, there was a loud thunk, followed by a notification:

Critical Hit! Banana Bandit Stunned.

Trevor cracked one eye open. The monkey was sprawled on the ground, dazed.

“Did I... win?” Trevor asked, poking it with the stick.

Quest Updated: Defeat the Banana Bandit (1/2).

“Not quite!” GL1TCH said. “You still have to finish it off!”

“Finish it off? With this?!” Trevor held up the stick like it was a rotten fish.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” GL1TCH said with a shrug. “This is your story.”

Trevor sighed. “This better be a bad dream.”

And so, armed with a stick, a snarky guide, and zero survival skills, Trevor reluctantly began his journey in a world where the only thing more ridiculous than the quests... was him.